(Posted 2022 September)
- Approach gender violence as a men’s issue. Approach sexual harassment and all forms of gender violence as a men’s issue involving men of all ages and socioeconomic, racial, and ethnic backgrounds. View men not only as perpetrators or possible offenders, but as empower bystanders who can confront abusive peers.
- Don’t remain silent. If a brother, friend, classmate, teammate, or colleague is abusing his female partner—or is disrespectful or abusive to girls and women in general—don’t look the other way. If you feel comfortable doing so, try to talk to him about it. Urge him to seek help. If you don’t know what to do, consult a trusted friend, parent professor, or coworker. Don’t remain silent.
- Have the courage to look inward. Question your own attitudes. Don’t be defensive when something you do or say ends up hurting someone else. Try hard to understand how your own attitudes and actions might inadvertently perpetuate misogyny and violence, work toward changing them.
- Ask if you can help. If you suspect that a woman (or anyone else) close to you is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can help.
- Get help. If you are emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive to women, or have been in the past, seek professional help now.
“Asking the question: ‘How many men raped women?’ rather than ‘How many women were raped?’ is much more likely to lead to actions that prevent rape, because it shines the spotlight in the direction of the source of the problem.”
- Be an ally to women who are working to end all forms of gender violence. Support the women whose courage and empowered voices have catalyzed the historic #MeToo and #TimesUp movements. Attend “Take Back the Night” rallies and other public events. Raise money for community-based rape crisis centers and battered women’s programs. If you belong to a team or fraternity, or another student group, organize a fundraiser.
- Recognize and speak out against homophobia, gay-bashing, and violence against genderqueer and nonbinary people. Discrimination and violence against LGBTQ people are wrong in and of themselves. This abuse also has direct links to sexism (e.g., the “manhood” and sexual orientation of men who speak out against sexism are often questioned, a conscious or unconscious strategy intended to silence them. This is a key reason few men do so).
- Educate yourself. Attend programs; take courses; watch films, TED talks, and YouTube videos; and read articles and books about multicultural masculinities, gender inequality, and the root causes of gender violence. Educate yourself and others about how larger social forces affect the conflicts between individual men and women.
- Vote with your dollars and attention. Don’t fund misogyny. Refuse to consume misogynous porn, rent any video, subscribe to any website, or buy music that portrays women in a sexual degrading or abusive manner. Speak out about cybersexism and misogynist attacks against women on social media such as Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Reddit, etc. Protest sexism in new and old media.
- Mentor others. Mentor and teach boys and young men about how to be men in ways that don’t involve degrading or abusing girls and women (or anyone). Volunteer to work with gender violence prevention programs, including anti-sexist men’s programs, for example.
From MVP Strategies, a gender violence prevention education and training organization.
This article posting is part of the Domestic and Sexual Violence Services' Volunteer Voices monthly newsletter for current and potential volunteers. If you're not already a volunteer, learn how to get involved. Find out about upcoming trainings, volunteer trainings, happenings around the DSVS office and information about articles, books, media recommendations and more.
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