(Posted 2025 September)
Physical violence is only one aspect of domestic abuse. The reality is domestic abuse can show up in a wide range of violent and controlling behavior, including threats, harassment, financial control, and emotional abuse.
Love bombing is a form of emotional abuse where an individual intent on causing harm showers a new partner with excessive attention, affection, compliments, declarations of love, and gifts to create an intense emotional bond and a sense of urgency and dependence, which then paves the way for manipulation once the partner is “hooked.” There might also be attempts to isolate the partner from family and friends, ultimately making the victim lose their sense of self within the relationship.
What are signs of love bombing?
- Excessive compliments. The person bombards you with overwhelming praise and calls you a soulmate or “the one” very early in the relationship. They also may push for a commitment quickly because they “can’t live without you.”
- Overwhelming affection and gifts. When the relationship is barely hours old, they may give expensive gifts, pay all your bills, or make grand gestures that feel too good to be true.
- Demanding constant attention. They want the two of you to be together all the time, demand constant contact, and become upset or guilt-trip you for spending time with others.
- Rushing the relationship. The love bomber wants to make future plans, talk about marriage or kids, and move the relationship forward at an unnaturally fast pace.
- Isolation. They may try to limit your interactions with friends and family.
- Disregard for boundaries. When you try to slow down or establish personal boundaries, they may ignore them, become defensive, or act hurt, causing you to feel guilty for your needs.
Why is love bombing harmful?
Love bombing is often a tactic within a pattern of coercive control, where excessive affection is used to gain power over someone, which is then followed by abusive behavior. The goal of emotional manipulation is not to build a healthy connection but to create a sense of overwhelming indebtedness and dependency, leading a victim to lose their identity and agency.
This sudden shift from intense affection to control and criticism is confusing and leads to loss of self-esteem and can cause deep emotional distress for the person on the receiving end.
What do you do if you suspect love bombing?
- Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Pay attention.
- Maintain boundaries. Don’t be afraid to slow down the pace of the relationship and set boundaries.
- Stay connected to your support system. Maintain contact with trusted friends and family who can offer advice and support.
- Seek professional help. If you are experiencing love bombing or another form of violence, reach out to a trusted resource for guidance.
Fairfax County’s Domestic and Sexual Violence Services division supports adults, teens, and children who have been impacted by domestic and sexual violence, stalking, and human trafficking. Services are confidential, free, and provided regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, national origin, age, disability, religion, gender identity, or sexual orientation.
If you or someone you know is experiencing interpersonal violence, call the Domestic and Sexual Violence 24-Hour Hotline at 703-360-7273 for resources and support. If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1.
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