(Posted 2026 March)
Navigating domestic violence and tax season can feel overwhelming, especially if finances have been controlled, hidden, or used as a tool of abuse. You’re not alone — and there are ways to protect yourself while meeting tax requirements.
Below is a practical, trauma-informed guide you can use or share with other survivors.
Before You File
If the person causing harm has access to: 1) your Social Security number; 2) your bank accounts; 3) your online tax accounts, or 4) your mail, pause and think through safety. Is it safe to receive tax mail at home? Does your partner monitor your email? Does the person harming you control the refund?
If you answer yes to these questions, you may want to use a safe mailing address (trusted friend, P.O. box, advocate’s office), create a new secure email account, and change passwords (especially IRS account and tax software).
Filing Status
Many survivors feel forced to file “Married Filing Jointly” because their partner demands it, they fear retaliation, or they depend on the refund. But you may have options:
- Married Filing Separately. This can protect you from being responsible for your partner’s tax debt or fraud.
- Head of Household. You may qualify if:
- You paid more than half the cost of maintaining a home
- A child lived with you more than half the year
- You lived apart from your spouse for the last six months of the year
If Your Partner Filed Without You
Sometimes partners causing harm forge signatures, claim dependents without permission, file first to control the refund, or hide income.
If this happens, you have options, including filing a paper return if e-filing is rejected, reporting identity theft to the Internal Revenue Service, requesting an Identity Protection PIN, and working with a Low-Income Taxpayer Clinic (LITC).
You also may be able to seek protection from tax debt through Innocent Spouse Relief if your partner underreported income, committed tax fraud, or failed to pay taxes. Find out if you qualify through the IRS. If you do, this relief will remove your responsibility for certain tax debt and protect your refund from being taken. There are time limits, so the sooner you act the better.
Refund Safety
Expecting a refund? You can take steps to protect your money. If the refund will go into a joint bank account or an account your partner monitors, consider opening a separate account at a new bank, using a prepaid debit card, or requesting a paper check be sent to a safe address.
Note: You also may qualify for:
- Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA). Many Northern Virginia sites are open for in-person services, and walk-ins are welcome.
- Low-income taxpayer clinics
- Domestic violence advocates who can discuss your options and provide referrals to service—at no cost.
- Legal Aid organizations in your state
If someone used money, taxes, or debt to control you, that’s financial abuse. Help is available.
Fairfax County’s Domestic and Sexual Violence Services division supports adults, teens, and children who have been impacted by domestic and sexual violence, stalking, and human trafficking. Services are confidential, free, and provided regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, national origin, age, disability, religion, gender identity, or sexual orientation.
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