Department of Family Services – Domestic and Sexual Violence Services

Fairfax County, Virginia

CONTACT INFORMATION: Monday–Friday 8 a.m.–4:30 p.m.

703-324-5730
TTY 711

DFSinfo@fairfaxcounty.gov

12011 Government Center Parkway, Pennino Building, Floor 7, Suite 740
Fairfax, VA 22035

Toni Zollicoffer,
Director

Department Resources

Related Resources

Step Up 4 Kids

Step Up 4 Kids graphic logo

What is Step Up 4 Kids?

Step Up 4 Kids began when county officials realized that seeing domestic violence at any age can affect a child for the rest of their lives. Children may not have the words to tell adults how the violence in their house explains how they act. Fairfax County understands it is important for county services, schools and nonprofits to work together to meet the needs of children impacted by domestic violence. Step Up 4 Kids brings these partners together to meet the needs of children who witness domestic violence. Step Up 4 Kids includes:

Fairfax County Public Schools
Department of Family Services
Community Member Advocates
Healthy Minds Fairfax
Neighborhood and Community Services
Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court
Second Story
Fairfax County Health Department
Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA)
Shelter House, Inc
Fairfax County Police Department
Ayuda, Inc
Legal Services of Northern Virginia
Fairfax-Falls Church Community Services Board
United Community
Private Mental Health Providers
Safe Spot Child Advocacy Center

Domestic and Sexual Violence Services is committed to working with community partners to support children impacted by domestic violence.

Step Up 4 Kids on Braddock Voices

Check out the Braddock Voices podcast with Fairfax County Supervisor James Walkinshaw and Brittany Vera, Child Witness to Domestic Violence Coordinator in the Fairfax County Family Services’ Domestic and Sexual Violence Services division, as they discuss childhood exposure to trauma and domestic violence. Learn more about the Step Up 4 Kids initiative, domestic violence trends during the COVID-19 pandemic and how just one caring adult can make a world of difference in a child’s life.

County Conversation Podcast - Step Up 4 Kids Initiative

County Conversation podcast with Jim Person and Domestic and Sexual Violence Services Brittany Vera as they discussed the Step Up 4 Kids initiative. Check out the podcast.

How Children May Be Exposed to Domestic Violence

Seeing the survivor threatened, put down or physically hurt.
Getting in the middle of a physical assault and possibly being hurt.
Hearing the abuse, no matter if it is verbal or physical.
Seeing the pain caused by the abuse, like a survivor’s injuries or their responses to the abuse, such as being fearful, angry or withdrawn.
Living in a home where they feel afraid of what might happen.
Being used and controlled by the abusive parent or caregiver to hurt the survivor.
Feeling forced by the abusive parent to hurt the survivor parent or caregiver in some way.
Not having their basic needs met because of financial abuse.

If you are a parent or caregiver and you and your child[LK1] live in a home where there is domestic violence, it is never too late to seek help and support for yourself and your child. There are many ways to create safety for yourself and for your child. You are the most important part of the healing process for your child. Please call the 24-Hour Domestic and Sexual Violence Hotline 703-360-7273 for help.

The 24-Hour Hotline can provide:

Emotional support during a crisis.
Short-term plans for safety.
Suggestions for family, friends or professionals who want to help a survivor.
A connection to other services such as:
- The Domestic Violence Action Center (DVAC) gives information, referrals and support with a plan to help a survivor plan for safety. DVAC can help a survivor with the court process, assist with protective orders, and attend court. DVAC also offers help with housing and economic needs.
- Domestic and Sexual Violence Counseling Services offers eight to 10 free counseling sessions for survivors of domestic or sexual violence. Services are also available for teens and children who have experienced domestic violence or who are survivors of sexual abuse.
- ADAPT is an 18-week certified domestic abuse intervention program that teaches skills to prevent abuse by learning compassion for self and others. There is a fee for services.

Children Who Live with Domestic Violence May Have These Behaviors

Sadness or hopelessness.
Low self-esteem or self-worth.
Feel responsible for abuse.
Worry about their parent or caregiver being hurt or something happening to them, or some other fear.
Blame themselves for the abuse.
Anger toward one parent or caregiver or the other that the abuse is happening.
Shame or embarrassment that the abuse is happening.

If a child has some of these behaviors and emotions, it does not mean a child is living with domestic violence in their home. Children can have many difficulties in life. If you are worried about a child, it is important to build a relationship with them and their parents, and if necessary, help the child find adults they can talk to about how they feel and what they experience. It is possible you might be that adult because of your role in the child’s life.

Children Who Live with Domestic Violence May Have These Emotions

Feel sad or hopeless.
Have low self-esteem or self-worth.
Feel responsible for abuse.
Feel worried or scared about their parent or caregiver being hurt or something happening to them, or some other fear.
Blame themselves for the abuse.
Feel angry toward one parent or caregiver or the other that the abuse is happening.
Feel ashamed or embarrassed that the abuse is happening.
If a child has some of these behaviors and emotions, it does not always mean a child is living with domestic violence in their home. Children can have many difficulties in life. If you are worried about a child, it is important to build a relationship with them and their parents, and if necessary, help the child find adults they can talk to about how they feel and what they experience. It is possible you might be that adult because of your role in the child’s life.

If a Child Discloses

Allow them to take their time telling their story in their words.
Stay calm and thank the child for sharing.
Validate their concerns and feelings.
Ask if anything makes them feel unsafe or worried.
Reassure the child the violence is not their fault.
Avoid making promises about things not in your control.
Refrain from communicating with the alleged offender.
Explain to the child how you can help and provide regular check-ins.

If a Parent Discloses

Ask the victim if they have concerns for their or their child’s immediate safety.
If so, ask if you can call the Domestic and Sexual Violence 24-Hour Hotline (703-360-7273) together.

Step Up 4 Kids Community Engagement Toolkit

Step Up 4 Kids began when county officials realized that seeing domestic violence at any age can affect a child for the rest of their lives. Children may not have the words to tell adults how the violence in their house explains how they act. Fairfax County understands it's important for everyone to work together to meet the needs of children impacted by domestic violence. Learn about ways you can help with the Step Up 4 Kids community engagement toolkit.