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Foster Family News - 2018 December

Welcome to the 2018 December issue of Foster Family News, a monthly newsletter for current and potential Fairfax County foster parents.

Table of Contents
Bethany Shively, FCFCAA president, Shares a Special Message Adoption Awareness Month Event So You Want to Be a Foster Parent Ambassador? Wakefield Farmers Market Frequently Asked Questions: What is the Foster Parent Support Line and how and when do I access it? What is the Child Protective Services Hotline and how and when do I access it?	Story in Statistics: Youth in Foster Care Staff Spotlight: Penny Talley Donors and Sponsors Highlights: Holiday Spirits Donors Upcoming Trainings

Words from Fairfax County Foster Care and Adoption Association (FCFCAA)

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

When you think of December, what words comes to mind? Perhaps, faith, family, food, friends, shopping or parties. For most of us, this season is a time of celebration, filled with happy memories and traditions with loved ones. But for many children in foster care, this time of year can be an especially painful reminder of all they’ve lost, or perhaps never had in the first place.

Since becoming a foster parent, I’ve had several placements pass through my home during this season, and it breaks my heart every time. I want so much for them to share in my family’s joy this time of year, but I’ve learned that is not a fair or reasonable ideal. Instead I’ve had to alter my expectations.

Maybe a child’s family had their own unique traditions this time of year; why not ask about it, and incorporate some of those within your own family’s traditions?

Maybe their family didn’t celebrate or doing anything special at all; if that’s the case, they probably won’t be excited about every activity that is part of your family’s tradition. And that’s OK - don’t be afraid to give them a little space.

Or maybe, just maybe, this is actually the very worst time of the year for them. It’s filled with painful memories that are only further amplified by all the extra “happiness” exuded by seemingly everyone around them. It would make sense that this child might act out during a party or gift exchange or otherwise “joyous” occasion - a reaction that would make no sense to the outside world. But as foster parents, we understand, and we need to be extra sensitive to it.

I hope you and your families will make it out to the Holiday party this month. What a great opportunity to spend time with other families who “get it”! As foster and adoptive parents, we need to support each other. And our kids provide support for each other too - whether or not they even know it - simply by showing each other that they’re not the only one, and they’re not in this alone!

I wish you and your families a joyous holiday season as you navigate this time special together and share in old, new, and blended traditions. And if you need last-minute gifts for your new additions, or if they want to go “shopping” for bio family members, don’t forget the Foster Closet is here to serve you! Contact Cynthia at 703-200-8722 for more information.

Bethany Shively
President
Fairfax County Foster Care and Adoption Association (FCFCAA)

Adoption Awareness Month Event

On Saturday, Nov. 3, we celebrated Fairfax County’s adoptive families and all those who support them with a formal adoption ceremony, inspiring words by youth advocate La Tika Smith-Jeffrey, and fun, food and games.

So You Want to Be a Foster Parent Ambassador?

Marla Emmer had a little more than a year of foster parenting under her belt when she was approached about becoming a foster parent ambassador. But she didn’t act on it right away, letting another year pass before she stepped forward.

“Dana [Trower] said, ‘You need to be an ambassador.’ And then Emma [Marshall, foster care recruiter and community educator] said it,” Emmer, who now has been a foster parent in Fairfax County for four years, said. “I don’t know how they figured out it was a good match for me, but it really is.”

Armed with training, business cards and marketing materials, foster parent ambassadors talk to potential foster parents about the process of fostering a child, providing real-life experience to newcomers. Hearing from other parents in the trenches proved invaluable to Emmer when she was taking PRIDE training and other classes, so it’s a role she takes seriously.

“We speak at the information meetings for new foster parents. We meet quarterly to talk about ideas—things that work, things that don’t, where we want to be more active. Sometimes we try to figure out things that could work better with our resource workers. Wherever there’s a gap,” she said.

Foster parent ambassadors also show up at trainings and community events, including those at the schools or farmers’ markets, to help get the word out about foster parenting.

“I really enjoy talking to potential foster parents. They get a real taste of what fostering will be like,” she said, “and I think that’s really valuable to future foster parents. Sometimes it can be hard, but you get so much out of it. You give to the child, but you get as much out of it.”

For more information about becoming a foster parent ambassador, contact Emma Marshall.

Wakefield Farmers Market

Halloween was the final 2018 date at Wakefield Farmers Market, and Patricia Aviles-Cubillos manned a much-visited Foster Care & Adoption recruitment outreach booth.

Each newsletter will include this section to help answer questions, spotlight the people who support foster families, highlight the donors and sponsors who generously give to foster care programs and activities and friendly reminders for foster families to sign-up for trainings.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Question: What is the Foster Parent Support Line and how and when do I access it? What is the Child Protective Services Hotline and how and when do I access it?

Answer: The Foster Parent Support Line is an answering service available to Fairfax County foster parents, residential facilities, and group homes after-hours emergencies seven days a week. The phone number, 703-257-3974, is written on the Foster Parent Code of Ethics. Families can also obtain the number from their resource specialist, foster care and adoption specialist, or placement coordinator. The Foster Parent Support Line is always monitored by a live person. Once a call is received, the individual from the support line will either patch the foster parent directly through to the resource specialist or placement coordinator on call, or take a message so the family can be called back. The Foster Parent Support Line is a conduit for the foster parent to pass on important information about the children in their home regarding a medical need or emergency, behavior challenges or changes, or to seek advice and reassurance.

The Child Protective Services (CPS) Hotline is a number used by a caller concerning the maltreatment of a child. Foster parents, along with other community members, are mandated reporters. The CPS Hotline is a 24-hour hotline. During business hours Monday through Friday, callers may call the Fairfax County CPS Hotline at 703-324-7400. After business hours and on the weekends, calls are rolled over to the Virginia Department of Social Services hotline in Richmond, Virginia.

Check out other frequently asked questions and answers from past issues.

STORY IN STATISTICS

Currently, there are 200 youth in foster care in Fairfax County, with a higher number of girls than boys needing temporary homes.

STAFF SPOTLIGHT

Get to Know Penny Talley, Foster Care Supervisor

A typical work day starts at 7:30 a.m. with me responding to emails from the previous night and checking my voicemail. After that, it’s wherever the wind takes me because no two days are the same. As I am transitioning into a new role, I have found I spend a lot of time talking through complex cases with the workers in the unit and getting to know the clients in the Annandale unit. I want to meet the clients I hear about. I am also slowly trying to get through many training requirements and learning new systems.

I have always had a passion for families in child welfare, likely because one of my best friends in middle school was in foster care and she spent a lot of time with my family. I got to know and understand some of things she was going through, and I wanted to be someone who could help families that had challenges. I’ve always been the friend others talk to about the struggles they are going through and trying to help out in whatever why I can.
I have been with Fairfax County since October 2005.

I love seeing people succeed in whatever it is they felt was unachievable for them. I have worked primarily with older teens in foster care who feel they have been marginalized and not heard. When they are empowered to advocate for themselves and feel safe doing so, success is not far behind. They are able to have better relationships with family, friends and themselves.

When I’m not working, I travel as often as possible, and I love to plan parties. I have a bucket list of cities/countries and continents I plan to visit, and I try to check off two to three of them each year. In 2018, I visited three U.S. cities and two countries I had never been to before.

DONORS AND SPONSORS HIGHLIGHTS

Our partners and donors are the true power behind communities of care for Fairfax County Foster Care and Adoption. With them we can provide amazing support services, community events and after care resources.

This issue highlights the Holiday Spirits Donors.

Foster Care & Adoption is sending a big shout out to the Holiday Spirit Donors that have sponsored and supported our children and families for more than 10 years: Tysons Galleria, Wish List Project started by Mrs. Mahon, Child Welfare Information Gateway, Cushman & Wakefield, Wide Point Cybersecurity Solutions, Touching Heart, and St Mary’s. Newer donors include Neiman Marcus, The Brooks Family, The OPHELIA Foundation, American Systems, ICF Consulting Company, Daughter of the American Revolution, and Breakfast with Santa Fair Oaks Mall. Finally, we couldn’t throw the wonderful holiday party for our children in foster care without the help of staff, volunteers, and community partners, including Richard Kilday (Santa), Mary Ann Fuss and Jill Seibert (who run the store for kids to do their holiday shopping), and Liz Murphy (who helps us pick up donations). Thanks for the dedicated commitment to Fairfax County Foster Care & Adoption.