Welcome to the 2019 February issue of Foster Family News, a monthly newsletter for current and potential Fairfax County foster parents.
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When’s the last time you had a night to yourself? Or better yet, how about a date night out?? Maybe it’s been a while, or maybe it’s been so long you can’t even remember! Sadly, this is all too true for many foster parents. You’re spending so much time and energy focusing on others, that you can easily neglect yourself. If this is you, keep reading.…
As a thank you to Fairfax County foster and adoptive families, McLean Bible Church (MBC) is hosting a free parents’ night out on Saturday, March 2 from 4:30 - 8:30 p.m. The church will provide trained, background-checked child care volunteers for all the children in your home (infants through age 12), a pizza dinner, and a special thank you treat just for you.
During the evening, your kids will play games, do crafts, and have structured, age-appropriate playtime.
What you do is up to you. So go ahead and do that date night, go shopping (by yourself, for yourself), go hide in your car with a book, take a nap, or catch up on your favorite Netflix series (no one’s judging!). The important thing is that you take a break!
If you’re not familiar with MBC, it is perfectly located for all of your retail therapy needs on Route 7, about two miles past Tysons Corner Mall. Hope you can take advantage of this opportunity! RSVP here for this event.
Finally, in addition to the parents’ night out, please keep your fellow local foster and adoptive parents in mind for help with occasional babysitting or respite. FCFCAA is a great support network, full of wonderful families in the same boat, who want to help one another! If you need a break, don’t hesitate to reach out to the network via the FCFCAA google group; or if you’d prefer to stay anonymous, send me a note and I can post it through our channels on your behalf.
All the best,
Bethany Shively
President
Fairfax County Foster Care and Adoption Association (FCFCAA)
John Craig-Lee, 28
John Craig-Lee was 8 years old when he and his two younger brothers came into the Fairfax County foster care system. “By the grace of God, we were in only one foster home. I believe I have been extraordinarily fortunate in how my life changed as a result of being placed in foster care--and subsequently adopted,” he says. “It became easier for me to focus in school, I had time and opportunity to develop some hobbies, and even made friends.”
John used his background as a source of motivation. “My origin has always been a critical component of my drive,” he says. “That helped propel me to achieve success in multiple arenas. In high school, it was academics and community service. West Point was a behemoth challenge in terms of academia, but militarily and physically I feel I did well.”
Since commissioning in 2012, John’s roadmap to success has changed frequently - in good ways. “I’ve gone places I never imagined as a small boy,” he says. “Life started off as a grueling test of my will, and now is a series of ever appreciable challenges. I’m still in the Army [he’s a captain], married and looking forward to sharing life with my smarter half.”
And he offers these tips to other youth in foster care:
- Life is only scary if you allow it to instill fear in you. Look at it as an opportunity and adventure.
- Your situation doesn’t mean you are weak. Your challenges and struggles are what prove the immense strength you possess within.
- Always seek to be better than your past selves; chase perfection and you will surprise yourself.
- Find your strengths, but acknowledge and nurture your weaknesses.
- Surround yourself with people who want to succeed and genuinely want you to be successful, too.
- Obstacles are not the end of the world, just a gateway to the next realm.
- Do not fear emotion, especially love. It has unfathomable healing potential.
Heads Up: Talk It Out - Thursday, Feb. 7, 2019
Have you heard? There’s a new teen recovery drop-in group and it’s called Heads Up. Teens ages 14-17 who’ve struggled through emotional, mental health or substance use challenges are encouraged and welcome. The focus of the group is to help teens develop strategies and tools to manage stress and weather life’s toughest moments. Together, with other young people, teens will learn how to collaborate, listen and learn from peers. Concurrently, parents are invited to join other parents to form a new group of their own called Talk It Out. Over coffee and tea, the program will offer ideas for parents on how to help their teen achieve academic and social success while living health, prosperous lives in their community. Interventions that will assist in the aftermath of trauma or times of emotional distress will also be addressed. Bring a friend. Drop ins welcome. The programs, initiatives of the Fairfax-Falls Church Community Services Board, begin Thursday, Feb. 7. This group is free.
Event Details
Thursday, Feb. 7
6-7:30 p.m.
Merrifield Center, 8221 Willow Oaks Corporate Drive, Fairfax, VA 22031
Contact: Robyn Olivo Gonideaux or 703-383-8440
Celebrate Black History Month - Know the Past, Shape the Future - Friday, Feb. 15, 2019
In celebration of Black History Month, Fairfax County, in partnership with Cox, presents “Know the Past, Shape the Future.” Virginia Lt. Governor Justin Fairfax is the keynote speaker. The event, which is free, will recognize black churches.
Event Details
Friday, Feb. 15, 2019
Reception: 6 p.m.; Program: 7 p.m.
Fairfax County Government Center, 12000 Government Center Parkway, Fairfax, VA 22035
Contact: 703-324-7483
Each newsletter will include this section to help answer questions, spotlight the people who support foster families, highlight the donors and sponsors who generously give to foster care programs and activities and friendly reminders for foster families to sign-up for trainings.
Question: What is the process for traveling out of state or out of the country with a child placed in my home?
Answer: Approval for out-of-country travel must be obtained from the director of the Fairfax County Department of Family Services. Efforts will be made to locate the birth parent to obtain permission for the trip. We will also need the following information from foster parents to obtain approval:
- Information about who will be accompanying the child or the caregiver responsible for the child during the trip.
- Details and an itinerary for the trip.
- Information about how the Department will be able to contact the caregiver accompanying the child in the event of an emergency.
At a minimum, please submit requests for out-of-country travel at least four weeks before the anticipated travel dates. However, the foster care specialist will need the request eight weeks before the trip to ensure proper passports, visas, or other requirements for traveling out of country be obtained prior to the trip. The specialist will work collaboratively with the birth parent or foster parent to obtain this information. In addition, prior to leaving for the trip, the specialist must obtain a written assurance from the caregiver accompanying the child that he/she will provide for the child’s safety and legal needs during the trip. The specialist will provide the caregiver with authorization to obtain medical treatment.
For planned out-of-state travel, foster parents should notify the specialist at least one week prior to the departure. For emergencies, foster parents should notify the specialist as soon as possible. The specialist will need to assess whether such travel conflicts with other activities, such as visits with birth family members.
If foster parents are asking the Department to pay for any travel expenses, they will need to notify the Department at least 3 weeks prior to leaving. The Department will not reimburse any expense after the fact.
Note: Traveling to D.C. and Maryland is not considered out-of-state travel.
Check out other frequently asked questions and answers from past issues.
In FY 2018, 99 children left foster care in Fairfax County: 35% were adopted; 32% returned to their biological family; 19% aged out; and 14% custody was given to a relative.
5 Things You Should Know About Keith Wong, Program Manager, Foster Care & Adoption Resource and Support Program
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Social work wasn’t his first love. “When I was growing up I thought I would like to own a farm,” he says. “My dream was raising sheep.”
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He’s been with Fairfax County for 18 years, but he’s been a social worker since 1982. Keith started his career in Hong Kong working in mostly residential homes. He came to the United States and worked in Washington, D.C., as British rule of Hong Kong was about to transition to China. “Tiananmen Square happened. And the Chinese government was saying ‘after 1997 [folks in Hong Kong would have to] shut up or you won’t get your democracy,’” he recalls. “I said, ‘That doesn’t work for me; I’m not going to shut up.’ I was much younger then and a lot more rebellious. I have toned down a lot.”
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For Keith, the most rewarding part of this work is “seeing kids improve. Seeing the improvement of outcomes of kids,” he says. “Often, kids from foster care don’t graduate from high school, they don’t go to college. Nationally the percentage for kids in foster care who go to college is very low. But we have five kids graduating from college this coming year from the Foster Care & Adoption program. Five. Kids. Graduating. From. College. That’s major! These are the things that help motivate me.”
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Away from the job, Keith has a variety of hobbies, including listening to music (“Classical. Opera. Jazz. A little bit of R&B”) and traveling. “I like national parks,” he says, citing a recent circuit of Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon and Zion National Park as among his favorite trips of all time. He’s also a fish aficionado. “I have always, even when I was a kid, had an aquarium at home. I recently started doing saltwater fish. I have two saltwater and one freshwater aquarium at home.”
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Keith’s retiring soon. “I will miss the work, but I won’t miss the 40-hour work week,” he says. One of his first plans? He’s going to Machu Picchu in October. “I’d like to be able to do more hiking while I still have the mobility!”
The following trainings are for Fairfax County foster parents only.
Inservice (For certified Fairfax County foster parents. Registration required.)
What do you want to see in Foster Family News?
Submit your suggestions to Kendra Lee.
Check out past issues of Foster Family News.