Article by Kathleen Thomas, Department of Family Services
(Posted 2022 February)
When Frances Ivey and her family moved to Fairfax County 29 years ago, her children were still in elementary school, and she was a busy working mother and caregiver who was shaped by the support system she had while growing up. She understood the benefit a good support system could have on a person.
Ivey is the Deputy Superintendent of Fairfax County Public Schools. As an educational leader in one of the largest school divisions in the country, her educational journey was influenced by her parents and teachers who encouraged her to work hard and be anything she wanted to be. “Education is a game changer to a better life,” she says. Support from her parents and teachers led Ivey to pursue a doctorate in education and a career that would make a difference in the lives of many students just as others had done for her.
Growing up in Philadelphia in the late 1950s and early 60s, Ivey attended an inner-city elementary school that was not integrated. She knew her ABCs and numbers and had already learned to read when she started school. She says she was one of the smartest students in her classes. However, her mother realized her daughter was not being challenged at school. At the time, a lottery system existed for students who wanted the opportunity to be bussed to an all-white school in a suburban neighborhood. “My mother stood in the lottery line and entered my name over a two-year period. My name was drawn when I entered third grade."
Ivey traveled by bus everyday with approximately 30 other brown and black students to her new school in the suburbs. “I learned very early in my new school that I was not one of the smartest in the class. The work was much harder and looked different.” She remembers her teacher, Ms. Margolis, who was caring and offered her extra tutoring and help. She provided materials to Ivey’s parents so they could work with her. Her parents also enlisted help from family members, friends and whoever they felt could help. “They ensured that I had a village of support as I struggled to catch up and then eventually, to blossom and shine.”
Ivey credits her support system for being able to become the leader she is today. “It truly takes a village, and every child needs that special village of supports to be successful.”
She has seen many changes during her 30-year educational career which began as a special education teacher. She was recognized for her leadership abilities throughout her career and was promoted to assistant principal, principal, director, assistant superintendent and most recently as the Deputy Superintendent in 2018. “Education is much more individualized, targeted, innovative and technological than when I started,” said Ivey. “There are many more resources at our teachers’ and students’ fingertips today that makes learning more fun, relevant, innovative and transformational.”
Ivey also plays another important role as a mother and wife. Her husband of 43 years, Charles, was in the military and was an executive with Exxon Mobil. His career moved the family eight times in 20 years. With each move, she focused on settling her two children into their new environment and new schools and then worked to obtain teaching positions. Her two children were successful graduates from Fairfax County Public Schools and have launched successful careers of their own.
Understanding the importance of having a village also helped Ivey as she became a caregiver for her own mother. “Caregiving is very demanding and one of the most rewarding experiences I have had in my life that I will cherish forever. My 98-year-old mother moved in with me after the death of my father in 2013. I was able to care for her while I continued to work with the support of my husband and my adult daughter who moved back in with us.” She said during those two years, they coordinated schedules and worked with health aides and a geriatric specialist at Inova to help take care of her mother. Her mother passed away five months short of her 100th birthday.
Ivey has advice for other caregivers. “You must have a village of support. Caregiving can be stressful, tiring and very demanding and is also the most gratifying” She says the memories of caring for her mother in later years sustains her. She knows that she did all she could to ensure that her mother and father had a comfortable life in their elder years. “It is truly life coming full circle.”
“We say ‘find your village’ when we think about caring for young children. The same applies for caring for the elderly. You have to take breaks or do something that will help you reenergize or reignite your joy. Even if it is just a few hours a week. Put yourself on your to do list…somewhere at the top.”
This article is part of the Golden Gazette monthly newsletter which covers a variety of topics and community news concerning older adults and caregivers in Fairfax County. Are you new to the Golden Gazette? Don’t miss out on future newsletters! Subscribe to get the electronic or free printed version mailed to you. Have a suggestion for a topic? Share it in an email or call 703-324-GOLD (4653).