(Posted 2022 December)
Just a few days.
As a recently certified respite care provider for the Fairfax County Department of Family Services, I recognized our coordinator's number on my phone. Could I take a 13-year-old girl who needed a foster mom for just a few days until she could be placed with her extended family?
I scribbled her words, "delightful, smart, and sweet" on the back of an envelope as she described my new foster daughter. Suddenly, I was nervous. Was I prepared to help this young lady transition to an extended family she'd never met?
I was single, had a demanding job, and had limited experience with kids, much less teens! But, it would be just a few days.
At our first meeting, nearly ten years ago now, my new charge grinned and hugged me as she walked through the door, melting any fears I had. She was all that the coordinator said she was and more. Her bright smile and unwavering optimism in the face of such change humbled me, and I sensed she was about to teach me more about life, love, and laughter than I could ever teach her.
The details of her case have receded from our collective memory, but reunification with her birth mother and placement with her extended family became impossible, so we became a family long before the judge signed her adoption order in 2017.
Parenthood lasts forever, whether it starts when your child is a newborn or begins as you watch your middle-school student in braces carrying her violin to school wearing her pink, puffy coat. While we barely remember a time when we weren’t together, a few highlights stick with us.
- At 14 – She beamed with pride as she completed the inaugural run on her first ski trip out west with our friends and family. Later that year, she won an early scholarship to college based on her academic achievements and extracurricular activities – one of just a few awarded to 8th graders in Fairfax County. To celebrate, we headed to my favorite New England beach where we roasted sticky s’mores over the bonfire with my cousins and made sunny, sandy memories.
- At 16 – I taught her to drive and panicked (appropriately!) when she drove the car for the first time on her own. She was inducted into the National Honor Society, played first violin in her orchestra, and choreographed for her cheerleading squad.
- At 18 – I watched her graduate with honors from high school and cried when we dropped her off at college and I came home to her empty room filled with her varsity letters, awards, and mementos of her teen years. She made lots of friends, excelled in her studies, and joined a sorority.
- At 20 – I helped her navigate college relationships and internships and sent cookies when she needed chocolate to get through her exams. She shared my candy-filled Halloween ‘scare’ packages with her new friends while adjusting to pandemic life and online classes.
- At 22 – My heart practically burst as she graduated cum laude from college with a Bachelor of Science degree and two minors last May. She now has a terrific job with the federal government and is exploring all that DC has to offer a young professional.
I continue to stand in awe of this exceptional young person and the joy she has brought me and our family. My journey to parenthood started a bit late, but the two of us have made a lifetime of memories in the near decade we've been together, and we look forward to all that's to come.
Provided by an adoptive family supported by our Post-Permanency and Life Skills Unit
This article posting is part of the Foster Family News monthly newsletter designed to keep foster parents informed about all the new and notable happenings in Fairfax County.
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