(Posted 2024 February)
Christina and Anthony Perez’s foster care journey began with an offer to help a college friend. Since then, they have shared their hearts and homes with 10 foster children in the last 10 years, leading to two adoptions.
As Christina explained, she was in college and was close with a fellow student, a young mom, who was having a hard time. The mom didn’t have a support system. Rather, her family was mistreating her son. Christina told the young mom that she could bring her son to Christina’s home anytime, no questions asked. When the mom accepted their offer, and trusted them with her little one, Christina and Anthony decided to go through foster parent training as an extra measure of protection.
Their intervention and support of the mom through this informal kinship care arrangement blessed Christina’s friend with the time to get on her feet and make changes in her life so she could be a better parent for her little boy. Altogether, he was with the Perezes for nine months before being reunified with mom, and he never actually entered formal foster care.
Meanwhile through becoming licensed foster parents, Christina and Anthony received their first placement and they have been fostering ever since. Most of the children have been emergency placements and most have resulted in reunification.
Embracing a Large Loving Family
Their family has grown to include their three biological children, a 14-year-old son, 8-year-old daughter, and a 2-year-old son, as well as an 18-year-old daughter whose adoption was finalized October 2023, and a 2.5-year-old son whose adoption was finalized in August 2021. They currently have one foster placement, a 14-year-old boy. The family enjoys the companionship of two dogs, one cat and several fish.
Anthony and each of the children share a common Salvadoran heritage. Christina says “We eat lots and lots of authentic Hispanic food including papusas, soups, yuca, tamales, pastelitos, and sweet breads. My husband’s family visits often, so we are constantly exposing the kiddos to Hispanic culture. My husband and our foster kiddos are fluent in Spanish and speak Spanish daily.”
The Perezes feel that their lives are much richer because of their experiences fostering. “We have been fostering since our first-born was 3, and throughout all our other bio kiddo’s lives,” said Christina. “I don’t think they know what life is like without having a full house. They have open minds and hearts. They share their rooms and clothes without question. They are kind at school because fostering has helped them to understand that no one knows what kids may be going through home.”
Challenges and Rewards
The Perez family has experienced the challenge of trying to gain the trust of children placed in their homes, and they are understanding. “It’s important to be patient with kiddos who are still trying to figure life out, and then they have to go to a different home and figure out new rules and expectations,” said Christina. Often, they present behaviors that the family has to work on, and they are diligent about figuring out the “why?” driving the behavior.
Christina and Anthony are motivated by the reward of providing a safe home for the children, no matter how long. They look forward to seeing kids who have become hardened by life finally get to be innocent, let down their guard, know that they are loved, and slowly let themselves be kids. Most of the children that have been placed in their home have been reunified with their bio families, and the Perezes maintain a relationship with each of them to this day.
In addition, they have had two amazing open adoptions. While they maintain clear boundaries, Christina says “we visit often, we send photos weekly or biweekly, and we still call them ‘Grandma.’ I hope one day to be able to answer any questions the kiddos may have.”
A Community of Support
The Perezes have a network of support that includes family, friends, and case workers with HumanKind’s Treatment Foster Care Program, and Fairfax County Foster Care and Adoption. “We have been blessed with amazing social workers and support. It is so hard on both ends – with not enough foster parents and not enough social workers – so being understanding with each other is so important,” said Christina. Their support has included training, providing a listening ear, supporting us with meetings, and keeping us updated.
The family offers this advice for anyone who is considering becoming foster parents. “DO IT! A lot of people think it is too hard to become foster parents or that they can’t do it because it is too hard to say ‘goodbye’ to a child you have grown to love. But we need more foster parents like that. Fall in love and show them what normalcy is even if it is for six months or three months. You won’t regret it.”
This article posting is part of the Foster Family News monthly newsletter designed to keep foster parents informed about all the new and notable happenings in Fairfax County.
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