(Posted 2024 February)
Last summer three- and four-year-old siblings Sean* and Samatha* were placed in foster care due to their parent’s substance abuse and violence against each other. The separation was challenging for both children as they were extremely close to their parents, Natalie* and Richard*, and several extended family members.
Being separated from their family impacted the children’s behaviors, sleep, and level of anxiety. The maternal and paternal relatives were strongly divided after years of conflict, which created other challenges within the family unit.
Closing the Family Divide
Once Sean and Samantha entered foster care, the foster care specialists made repeated efforts to identify relatives and keep them connected to the children. These calls were a wakeup call for family members who had not been aware of the full extent of Sean and Samatha’s situation. After about a month in foster care the foster care specialist was able to place the kids with their paternal uncle, John*.
While the children knew their uncle, they were not as close to him as they were with some of their other maternal relatives. Knowing this, John made the time to get to know the children’s maternal aunts, cousins, and grandparents to maintain that connection and bond.
Within a few weeks of placement, the family began regular nightly facetime calls between the maternal relatives and the children. This later progressed to weekly family dinners at Uncle John’s home with Sean and Samantha, their maternal aunts, and cousins. Their aunts made sure to prepare some of the favorite cultural foods that the children loved.
The children also started to spend some weekends and weeknights at their maternal aunt Evelynn’s* home. Placement with their Uncle John also allowed Sean and Samantha to build relationships with other paternal relatives that they had not seen as often. As their Uncle John and maternal aunts grew closer, the family members were able to put aside the conflict that had divided them and refocus on everyone’s main priority, Sean and Samantha’s well-being.
This was extremely important because there were moments throughout the life of the case when Sean and Samantha were unable to see their mom and having the consistency of close relatives was a comfort. Various family members on both sides participated in major milestones and activities together such as birthday parties, trick or treating, and holidays. Sean and Samanatha always had family close by to support them regardless of how big or small the celebration was.
A Seamless Transition to a New Home
Although John wanted to continue as a full-time caregiver for the kids, after seven months some unexpected life circumstances came up that meant the kids had to move. This could have been traumatic for the children, but John’s consistent and genuine attempts to keep Sean and Samanatha connected to all their family helped to make the transition to their maternal aunt Evelynn’s home seamless.
John remained connected to Sean and Samantha after the transition. He helped with transporting the kids for school, visits, and he participated in their major milestones and life events.
As the case progressed, John and all the other relatives continued to rally behind Natalie and Richard to ensure they had the support needed to successfully engage in their services, knowing that their children were okay. Natalie and Richard were also held accountable by their family for completing their services and told the hard truth whenever they made excuses.
Family Support and Accountability Leads to Reunification
As a family they talked regularly to share how and what they could do to support each other and Sean and Samantha’s stability. This helped Natalie and Richard to remain focused on successfully completing their services and recognizing the impact the separation had on their children.
Although separated, Natalie and Richard used the support of their family to create and develop a routine that kept their children connected to each of them. Sean and Samatha were eventually reunified with Natalie and now reside with her full-time.
They maintain regular contact with Richard through afterschool and overnight visits. Although contact between Natalie and Richard remains prohibited, they have not allowed this to prevent them from creating a unified co-parenting connection with their children through the support of their family.
Family Connections Overcome Challenges
This family’s story is a reminder of how the connection and support of family can get you through challenging circumstances. Sean and Samantha struggled with the separation from their parents; however, having the support and consistency of their family helped them to thrive in the midst of the unknown.
Although being separated from their children was extremely difficult for Natalie and Richard, they both acknowledged that this needed to happen for them to focus on what was truly needed for their family to thrive. In addition, it allowed two families to join forces to support each other and move forward.
Family is what helped Natalie, Richard, Sean, and Samantha get through their most difficult days.
As the state of Virginia and Fairfax County continue to move toward a kin-first culture, this story exemplifies the importance of not only identifying family for children in foster care but the benefits of supporting and maintaining those familial connections. Family connections provided stability, nurturing, and reassurance for Sean and Samnatha while giving Natalie and Richard the strength and support needed to reunify with their children.
*Names changed to protect confidentiality
This article is provided by Nakejah Allen, representing the South County Foster Care Unit.
This article posting is part of the Foster Family News monthly newsletter designed to keep foster parents informed about all the new and notable happenings in Fairfax County.
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