(Posted 2025 September)
By Maggie Moreland, Supervisor, Kinship Unit
It was after hours when the first call came to the kinship team about a baby, Lily* who was likely going to need to be separated from her birth parents. Both parents had a history of substance abuse, and Lily had been discharged from the hospital with an illness, against doctor’s orders.
The Kinship Unit quickly started searching for relatives who could take Lily in the event she needed to come into care. Several local family members came up in the search including a grandmother and several aunts and uncles.
Burned Bridges Create a Challenge
The team began to call relatives only to hear “No, I can’t help,” multiple times. It seemed the birth parents had burned many bridges with family members that resulted in an unwillingness to take in the child or work with the parents. While one relative was interested in taking the child, the department had concerns about their history of substance use and criminal charges.
The birth parents were hiding from the department and thought to be living in a known drug house. The department became very concerned about Lily’s medical needs and what else she might be experiencing inside the home. The kinship team begin to dig deeper to find a safe and stable relative that could care for Lily.
Social Media Presents an Opportunity
Over the past few years social media has become a powerful search tool, often allowing us to identify relatives and close friends of the birth family. The Kinship Unit began to search for the social media accounts of the birth parents and were able to locate one for the birth mom. In searching through the account, it was determined that mom had grown up with Shelby*.
It seemed they were best friends for many years. The Kinship Unit found contact information for Shelby and when Shelby heard about the situation, she quickly broke down in tears and shared what an important part of her life the birth mother had been.
She stated they grew apart about two years ago when the birth mother started using drugs. Shelby discussed that she lived with her husband in the area, but they did not have any kids. When asked if she would consider being a placement option for the baby, she talked it over with her husband and came back with a “Yes.”
Moving Forward
It took a few more days to locate Lily, but Shelby waited patiently and worked to prepare her home. A kinship waiver was issued that allowed Lily to be placed immediately with Shelby while she and her husband worked over the next six months to complete the Mutual Family Assessment process.
Two days after the baby was placed with Shelby, she and the birth mother were reunited at court. When the birth mother saw Shelby she hugged her stating, “I can’t believe it is you. Thank you for caring for Lily.”
The baby has been in care for six months now. The birth mother is sober and working on getting her baby back. Shelby has been a huge support to birth mom and helped mentor her along the way.
*Names and some identifying information have been changed for confidentiality.
This article posting is part of the Foster Family News monthly newsletter designed to keep foster parents informed about all the new and notable happenings in Fairfax County.
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