(Posted 2022 February)
Do You Believe in Second Chances?
This adult adoption established a permanent connection binding several generations together into one family. Staff in our Resource and Support Unit was part of helping this family navigate the process of an adult adoption.
To understand how Emily got to this point, you need to understand the story of her early years growing up in Washington D.C. Emily has fond memories of her childhood with her mother, father and two older brothers. Although her father had medical issues that prevented him from working, her mother was a schoolteacher who provided for the family, physically, financially and emotionally.
Their family spent time together, dancing, singing, and playing board games. Emily’s parents were loving, giving, and kind-hearted. They stressed the importance of independence and hard work. Emily learned from her mother the importance and value of love over that of material things.
Tragedy Strikes Emily’s Family
Sadly, on Emily’s 15th birthday, her father passed away. Even though, he had struggled with substance use throughout her childhood, the loss of her father was devastating. Emily suppressed her emotions and focused on school as a distraction. Her mother and brother were her biggest supports at the time.
In another unexpected blow, Emily’s mother passed away about a year later. Her brothers were now living independently, so Emily’s maternal aunt took custody of her. Unfortunately, they were not close, and moving from Washington D.C. to Southern Maryland added another layer of loss for the teenager. She focused on school and kept to herself at home.
After graduating from high school in 2012, eager for a change, 18-year-old Emily moved in with a friend’s family while taking classes in community college. She was also working at a local restaurant, and one day when a coworker, Susan, saw her looking upset, she confided that things were not going well in her current living situation. Emily asked Susan for leads on places to move.
The Next Chapter – Finding Permanency
Moved by concern for Emily, Susan suggested that Emily move into her home. Emily moved in and stayed for three years, experiencing the same unconditional love her mother had given her while growing up. Emily said that Susan is an amazing, sweet, loving, nurturing, and giving person who has been her “mom” since she was 19 years old.
Living with Susan helped Emily to complete an Associates Degrees in general studies in 2019. Since then, she has worked as a receptionist and is now working part-time as an administrative assistant for a company that is owned by Susan’s relatives.
Emily and her spouse met while working at the restaurant. Married in 2019, they have one daughter who was born in 2020. They are raising her with the support of some friends and family including her spouse’s parents who live close by. Even as Emily is creating her own family, Susan continues to be a major support in Emily’s life and has taken on the role of “Oma,” German for grandmother, for Emily’s daughter.
Emily and Susan already shared the closeness of mother and daughter, but they wanted to make it legal.
As part of the process, the courts ordered a Report of Investigation which was completed by staff in the Foster Care Resource and Support Unit. The specialist who completed the ROI interviewed all involved parties to gather background information about factors such as education, employment, and relationships. Staff also completed a walkthrough of the home. Then the specialist compiled the information into a narrative/court report which was presented to a judge to decide whether to approve the adoption or not. This is a unique service offered by our Resource and Support Unit.
The entire non-agency adoption process can take at least 6-9 months to complete. There is a fee based on a sliding scale for most non-agency adoptions that is paid by the adoptive parents. The cost varies based on the number of people in the family, income, and the time to complete the paperwork required for the court to finalize the adoption. Families often choose to retain a private adoption attorney to assist them, but some families can successfully navigate the court system themselves without the help of an attorney.
Emily’s adoption was finalized in June 2021, and now Susan and her husband have included Emily and her daughter in their wills and plan to create some financial accounts for their granddaughter to benefit her in later years, including a college savings account.
Adult adoptions like this one may be rare, but they are deeply meaningful to the families who choose each other.
*Name changed to protect confidentiality.
This article is provided by the Foster Care Resource and Support Unit.
This article posting is part of the Foster Family News monthly newsletter designed to keep foster parents informed about all the new and notable happenings in Fairfax County.
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