(Updated 2026 July)
What Is Normal: Social Media and Our Youth
Even though it may be tempting to forbid children and youth to use social media, this is seldom realistic. In addition, forbidding social networking may make it harder for youth in foster care to fit in with friends and relate to other teenagers in the community. Instead, foster parents should provide guidance and boundaries to help youth in their care use social media safely.
This guidance is intended to support foster parents in understanding their own obligations around the use of social media in relation to a youth in foster care. It also provides tips to help foster parents or any caregiver ensure the safe use of social media by youth. Note: Use of social media is not recommended for a child younger than 13.
Social media provides benefits for youth
Social ties. Social media helps youth in foster care fit in with their peers and fosters normalcy.
When using social media appropriately, youth can keep in touch with friends, siblings, and others and make new connections.
Family connections. Between visits, youth in foster care may share posts or have online conversations with biological family members, when appropriate and approved by the foster care specialist.
Self-expression. Videos, blogs, and other digital venues allow youth in foster care to express their feelings and ideas, which can help shape their identity and contribute to healing from childhood trauma.
Support. Through online community groups, youth in foster care can share experiences with peers who have had similar experiences. For examples of this, see FosterClub (www.fosterclub.com) and Foster Care Alumni of America (www.facebook.com/FCAANational).
What are the risks?
Youth in foster care may be particularly vulnerable to inappropriate contact, cyberbullying, or child predators. In addition, social networks and private messaging may aid in communication with adults or family members who are “off limits.”
Guidance to help youth use social media safely
You can help your child stay safe while using social media with these tips:
Include your house rules for what’s OK and what’s not in the social media plan. Rules will likely vary with the youth’s age, but setting them early is important. At Common Sense Media, you can find sample family media agreements for different age groups.
Set strict privacy settings. Use privacy settings to help youth limit who can find them online, which posts or photos can be seen, and who has contact permissions. To start, you can find information for Facebook settings (www.facebook.com/safety/parents).
Learn about social media sites and apps. Keep abreast of current technology and best practices for the most popular social media sites and apps youth are using today. Learn more here www.commonsensemedia.org/articles/social-media.
Monitor use. Station computers in a shared area (not a bedroom), and keep track of mobile device use. Know what type of social media your youth uses. Consider asking youth for passwords and permission to let a trusted adult “friend” them. However, try to balance monitoring with privacy. Installing an online monitoring program can also help watch out for inappropriate use.
Watch out for profiles on dating apps or risky matchmaking sites. Look for use of dating sites like Bumble, OKCupid, or Tinder, which may not be appropriate for teens. Smart Social (https://www.smartsocial.com/popular-apps) keeps track of appropriate and inappropriate apps for youth.
Discuss cyberbullying. Warn youth not to send, forward, or respond to mean or embarrassing messages or pictures. Help youth document, block, and report bullying if needed.
Check out what the child or young person knows. It can be easy to assume that all young people are experts in technology and know how to protect themselves online. Children who may have missed schooling may also have missed this teaching at school.
Be prepared to deal with mistakes. When youth slip up and don’t follow guidelines, approach the situation as a teachable moment and calmly work together on next steps.
Adapted from "Social Media: Tips for Foster Parents and Caregivers" (Child Welfare Information Gateway)
This article posting is part of the Foster Family News monthly newsletter designed to keep foster parents informed about all the new and notable happenings in Fairfax County.
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