(Posted 2023 February)
Juan* was 10 years old when he came into care along with his older two siblings. He had lived his early years in Honduras with his grandparents. He was sent to live with his mother in Virginia but was living back and forth between his mother and his father when he was removed due to physical and emotional abuse, as well as concerns of neglect of him and his siblings. There were also some concerns that he and his siblings were abused by their grandparents prior to coming to the United States, effectively closing the door to the possibility of returning to live with them.
Juan was placed in a Spanish speaking home with his older brother and made extra efforts to try to learn English at school. Juan loved school and thrived there. He was a quick learner, picking up English quickly. He also enjoyed playing sports such as soccer. Juan made friends with the biological son of the foster parents, and they are still friends today.
The Permanency Goal Changes to Adoption
Unfortunately, an issue outside of their control arose in the home which forced Juan and his brother to need to move into a new foster home. Around that time, it was determined that the goal for Juan and his siblings was no longer to return home to either parent. Juan’s permanency goal was then changed to adoption.
He was moved to a new home as his case transferred to the Adoption Unit. Unfortunately, Juan changed homes two or three times as case workers tried diligently to place him with a family where he could feel at home.
One of the families, Mr. and Mrs. Smith*, were interested in adopting him, but Juan wasn’t ready and maintained that he did not want to be adopted at that time. So, he was moved to another new foster home. Then the unexpected happened. During his time with the new family, Juan had a change of heart and realized that he really wanted to live with Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Even though Juan’s relationship with the Smiths was not perfect, he recognized that they really cared about him and had helped him like parents would help their own children. They would tutor him when he needed help in various subjects. They would help advocate for Juan at school and at meetings with the department and other professionals. They would worry about him as any parent would if he stayed out late or hung out with the wrong people.
Juan Chooses the Family that Chose Him First
Department staff worked with Juan to move him back in with Mr. and Mrs. Smith as an independent living situation after he graduated from high school. He settled into his new routine well and enrolled in the local community college to study auto mechanics. Juan focused on getting good grades and made the Dean’s list at school. Even though Juan was in an independent living situation, Mr. and Mrs. Smith helped him navigate the college system and made sure that everything was in order for him to attend. They added him to their local gym membership, so he had somewhere to work out. They took an interest in his hobbies and supported his love for running and biking. Mr. and Mrs. Smith taught him to drive and gave him an older family car to use.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith included Juan in all their vacations. They had taken him to visit his family in Honduras when he was younger, and he went with them on a trip to Iceland. Juan was also close with the Smiths’ extended family and took a trip by himself to Arizona to go hiking with one of their relatives. After about six months of living with the Smiths again Juan decided he wanted to be adopted. Mr. and Mrs. Smith filed for an adult adoption of Juan. Although it took a while for the paperwork to go through, eventually Juan legally became their son – making official what had been in each of their hearts for some time. Juan even made the choice to change his name and all his paperwork to reflect his new identity as their son.
Permanency Means Having a Family to Always Come Home to
While Juan was living with the Smiths, he became very close with another young adult who was also living in the home. This young adult went into the military, and this inspired Juan to serve his adopted country through the military as well. He was especially excited about the prospect of driving tanks. Juan studied diligently for the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) exam. He graduated this past year with an associate degree from the local community college. He aged out of care recently as he turned 21, passed the ASVAB and left for the military.
This is a “happily ever after story,” not because Juan’s life is perfect now. His life will never be perfect, but Juan has found stability in his adoptive family. He has a supportive family to come home to for holidays, and he knows he can call them for help with day-to-day life issues. He is proud to have a new last name that represents his connection to his forever family. Juan is a very resilient, responsible, and respectful young man. The support of his adoptive parents will continue to help him be successful and ready for any future challenges he might face.
*Names changed to protect confidentiality.
Provided by the Reston Foster Care Unit
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