(Posted 2023 October)
In November of 2021, Sarah* and Sean* received their first call to take in a 3-month-old baby girl who had been separated from her parents due to their mental health and substance abuse issues. They were brand new foster parents, they weren’t sure what to expect, and they quickly fell in love with Emilia*.
Bridging the Gap with Relatives
Sarah and Sean had expressed two main motivations for becoming foster parents, helping vulnerable children and supporting biological families toward the goal of reunification. Right away, department staff began working with Sarah and Sean to connect Emilia with extended relatives for regular visits.
Emilia’s maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather lived in the area and began visiting weekly. Although neither grandparent was able to care for Emilia full time, they wanted to maintain a connection and bond. Sean and Sarah tried hard to make a connection with the birth parents by doing special things like helping Emilia make cards for them or sending pictures of her.
The biological parents and extended family members were invited to many department meetings to give voice to their ideas about the best permanency plan for Emilia. One of the department’s goals was finding suitable relative caregivers, also called kinship caregivers. As it became clear that Emilia was unable to be reunified with her parents, a kinship placement became the primary goal. The practitioner continued to work with the family system to identify a relative as an option for Emilia’s care.
Finding a Kinship Care Placement
With the practitioner empowering the family to decide the best option for Emilia, they suggested an out-of-state aunt and uncle. They began visiting Emilia virtually and in person while simultaneously going through the long process to become certified foster parents in their state. The practitioner emphasized to everyone the importance of creating a bond between the foster family and relatives to smooth Emilia’s transition into another home.
Nine months after Emilia had been initially placed with the foster family, she was moved to live with her relative. It was very difficult for Sean and Sarah to say goodbye to Emilia, but they were happy that she was going to be with family.
After Emilia moved in with her relatives, they kept in contact with the foster family. Sean and Sarah took a break from fostering to process their emotions over Emilia’s departure. They focused their energy on creating a memory book for Emilia to look through and add to as she got older.
A Change in the Plan
Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances in the aunt and uncle’s life, Emilia’s placement with her relatives didn’t work out and less than four months later she returned to Virginia. When the practitioner reached out to Sarah and Sean again in December 2022, they welcomed 17-month-old Emilia back into their home.
In an unexpected twist the next day, Emilia’s brother, Daniel, was born substance exposed and going through severe withdrawal. He was also placed in foster care. When the practitioner called, Sean and Sarah immediately agreed to care for Daniel* and began visiting him daily at the NICU to hold and comfort him as part of his “Eat, Sleep, Console” protocol.
Sean and Sarah believed it was important to keep the siblings together. They leaned on their natural supports and managed to spend several hours daily with Daniel in the hospital while still caring for Emilia. Even after Daniel was discharged, he had several follow up appointments for developmental delays related to his exposure to substances. Understandably, Emilia was also struggling due to the many transitions she had experienced in her short life.
A New Plan for Permanency
With no progress being made by the parents over the year Emilia was in foster care, the department made the difficult decision to move towards termination of parental rights. Sean and Sarah were open to adoption of these children they had grown to love, but the department had continued to search for a suitable relative placement as the primary goal.
Staff spent many hours on calls, video conferences, and in family meetings discussing the needs of the children as well as the importance of biological connection for children. As a result of her diligent search and work, the practitioner located another out-of-state distant family member who expressed interest in being an option for Emilia and Daniel.
Although it had to be difficult for Sean and Sarah to imagine the children leaving their home again, they built a connection with the newly involved family members and prepared for the possibility of saying goodbye to Emilia and Daniel. Ultimately, due to the connection that Sarah and Sean had built with the grandparents and other extended family in the immediate area, the family as a whole decided that they wanted Sean and Sarah to adopt the children.
Both biological parents, who had continued to struggle with substance abuse, incarceration, and mental health issues, also knew how well Sean and Sarah were doing with caring for their children. This helped them to make the very difficult decision in March 2023 to sign a permanent entrustment so that the children could be adopted by Sean and Sarah.
Sean and Sarah understand the importance of maintaining relationships with the biological family and have continued to support regular visits with the relatives. They also have a group chat with the extended family where they send photos and give updates on how the children are doing.
This case had many twists and turns, but in the end, both children have achieved permanency and maintain bonds with their biological family. The practitioner’s countless hours working with all the family members as well as this foster family’s strong commitment to the children led to a positive outcome in a safe, stable environment for these two young children.
*Names changed to protect confidentiality
This article is provided by Colleen Regan, the Fairfax Foster Care Unit supervisor.
This article posting is part of the Foster Family News monthly newsletter designed to keep foster parents informed about all the new and notable happenings in Fairfax County.
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