(Posted 2023 December)
In August 2021, Michelle* and Jim*, foster parents with a Therapeutic Foster Care Agency received a call to take in a 3-year-old boy and a 1-year-old girl who had been separated from their biological parents due to the parents’ ongoing mental health, domestic violence, and substance use issues.
Both children, Emily* and Aiden*, have developmental delays and they experienced a significant amount of trauma with their biological parents. They both needed a home that would provide them with a safe and nurturing environment while meeting their basic needs.
Although they were unable to be their long-term caregivers, Emily and Aiden’s grandparents remained actively involved in the children’s lives. They visited consistently and remained committed to their relationships with their grandchildren.
Finding an Adoption Placement
With no progress being made by the parents during the year Emily and Aiden were in foster care, the department made the difficult decision to move toward termination of parental rights, and adoption in the best interest of the children.
The foster care professional assigned to the case worked tirelessly on finding relatives who would be able to provide permanent care for Emily and Aiden. After many attempts including family meetings, and calls with relatives, there was no success finding a permanent home with a family member.
The department turned to Michelle and Jim, who had cared for the children that year to consider adoption. Although Michelle and Jim had built a strong loving connection with the children, after having a tough conversation, they came to the decision not to proceed with adoption. So, staff began to look for a family that was going to be able to meet both Aiden and Emily’s needs with minimal disruption.
A Change in the Plan
Cara* and Richard*, DFS foster parents, were then contacted to explore if their home would be the best fit for Emily and Aiden to thrive in. They provided respite care for the children and understood Emily and Aiden’s strengths and challenges. After many transparent conversations, Cara and Richard happily opened their home to Aiden and Emily.
Cara and Richard were willing to adopt if no family members were able. They were aware that family members were still being contacted for potential care, but they were willing to become a support for Emily and Aiden, even if they might eventually have to leave their home. They also wanted to make sure to maintain that connection, so Emily and Aiden would grow up learning how much they are loved.
Cara and Richard had expressed that they were motivated to become foster parents because they wanted to be a connection for a child. They also wanted to be additional support and provide care for a child during the hardest period of their lives.
It was important for them to foster a connection with Emily and Aiden’s biological family while building a positive relationship with the children. They fully understood the immediate needs of the children given their background and diagnoses, but never once wavered from their commitment to them.
Cara and Richard knew it was important to keep the siblings together. They leaned on their natural supports and managed to get the children to all their appointments and tirelessly advocated for Emily and Aiden.
The Power of Love and Connection
Cara and Richard developed a routine that allowed Emily and Aiden to flourish. They have created a home that provides not only unconditional love and safety but an environment that has been tailored to the emerging special needs of these children.
Although it had to be difficult for Cara and Richard to imagine the children leaving their home, they were prepared for the possibility of saying goodbye to Emily and Aiden at any time. Cara and Richard understood the bond and connection that families hold and maintained contact with the children’s maternal grandparents and advocated for ongoing visitation.
Ultimately, the connection that Cara and Richard built with the grandparents and other extended family members led the family to see their genuine love for the children and this ultimately convinced the family that they wanted Cara and Richard to adopt the children.
Emily and Aiden’s case had many ups and downs, but despite those obstacles, both children have achieved permanency and maintained bonds with their biological family. Aiden and Emily’s adoption was finalized on October 26, 2023. The foster care professional’s countless hours working with all the family members as well as this adoptive family’s strong commitment to the children led to a positive outcome in a safe, stable environment.
Emily and Aiden are happy and healthy, thriving in their adoptive home. Aiden loves Blimpy and trains. Emily loves baby dolls. They enjoy being outside and are both taking swimming lessons. Everyone is thrilled with their progress and overjoyed with the commitment that their adoptive parents have shown.
*Names changed to protect confidentiality
This article is provided by Tamiara Johnson, supervisor Adoption Unit
This article posting is part of the Foster Family News monthly newsletter designed to keep foster parents informed about all the new and notable happenings in Fairfax County.
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