(Posted 2024 March)
Our foster parents play such a pivotal role in bridging the gap between children and their biological families. Their diligent efforts can ultimately support the journey toward family reunification. One family in particular, the Johnson* family, made such a difference.
Creating a Supportive and Welcoming Environment
In September 2022, the Johnsons agreed to foster a sibling set of two school-aged half-brothers; and they did not just foster the children, but fostered trust, hope, and especially connection.
From the start, the Johnsons created an environment in which the children were able to speak freely about their biological family and process their wide range of emotions, memories, and confusion about their current circumstances. This, in and of itself, was a feat as the brothers had very different memories and responses to their past trauma and both needed validation and comfort in their perspective.
The Johnsons spoke encouragingly of the children’s biological family and their ability to change and included their names in their daily family prayer. Even so, James* was quite apprehensive as he approached his first visit with his father, because he was unsure how Mr. Johson and his father would react to each other.
James’ father was not typically one open to others outside of his close circle, and whose physical appearance, with several face tattoos, was not always well received. Mr. Johnson saw James’ apprehension and provided encouragement by greeting James’ father with a warm handshake and excited smile. Mr. Johnson made small talk, and while James’ father was a bit standoffish at first, he seemed to settle in.
Encouragement Leads to Improvement
For many months Mr. Johnson and James’ father’s communication came in short hellos and goodbyes before and after visits to include updates about James’ care. During the springtime James suffered terribly from allergies, and the Johnsons made sure to not only update James’ father, but to ask for his insight into how to best care for James and learn what had worked in the past.
Mr. Johnson was quick to praise James’ father and was open about their hope that James would be able to return home; James’ father saw that the Johnsons cared sincerely for James and expressed his gratitude for all that the Johnsons did for James. As James’ father addressed the reasons that brought James into foster care, he grew in maturity and capacity.
The Johnsons were quick to not only keep James’ father apprised of pertinent information regarding James’ care, but they also made sure that James’ father was invited to participate in parent-teacher conferences and medical appointments. Mr. Johnson took on the role of mentor to James’ father and provided James’ father with details about what to expect and how to navigate the circumstances so that it was not so overwhelming.
The Biological Family is Reunified
Fast forward to 15 months later, and the Johnsons are hosting a going home pizza party celebration for James and James’ biological family. This was the culmination of repeatedly inviting James’ family into the Johnson’s home to spend time together with James.
At this point James’ father, paternal aunt and grandmother were all well known to the Johnsons. This relationship provided peace of mind for the biological family and gave James a sense of continuity between his worlds. This freed him from feeling torn between loyalties.
The Johnsons were sure to provide James and his biological family with a special binder they created regarding James’ upcoming appointments and with keepsakes from memories James experienced while in the Johnsons care. It’s now been several months since James returned home with his father, and the families continue in their connection.
Finding Bonus Family Members
Throughout the process of reunification, foster care workers were able to locate the children’s extended relatives, with whom they previously had no relation. The Johnsons also fostered these brothers in building relationships with family, who were in effect, strangers.
Because James and his brother trusted so deeply in the Johnsons and their care, they embarked on the journey to become acquainted with extended relatives. As a result, their family relationships and sense of belonging have grown exponentially. The Johnsons sacrificed a significant amount of time in transporting the children to frequent visits with many relatives.
The Johnsons embodied a commitment to James and his brother’s best interests by providing unwavering support to the children and their whole biological family. It’s a testament to the positive impact that collaborative efforts can have on the lives of those we serve.
Thank you to the unsung heroes that are foster parents for being the bridge that connects families and for your tireless effort in creating brighter futures.
*Names changed to protect confidentiality
This article is provided by Kate Burbach, representing the Reston Foster Care Unit.
This article posting is part of the Foster Family News monthly newsletter designed to keep foster parents informed about all the new and notable happenings in Fairfax County.
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