Article by Gwen Jones, Department of Family Services
(Posted 2026 June)
As people get older, it can be harder to keep or make friends. Some friends move away, some get sick, and some pass away. Many older men also lose work friends when they retire. One simple way to meet new people is to join a ROMEO group. ROMEO stands for “Retired Old Men Eating Out.” These are casual groups where retired men can get together, enjoy a meal, and talk. In Fairfax County, membership in the Vienna ROMEOs is booming among retired men who enjoy the group’s friendly atmosphere, easy conversation, and Vienna’s wide range of dining options.
The Vienna ROMEOs was founded in March 2025 by Bill Griffiths, a long-time resident of Fairfax County. As he was nearing retirement, a friend suggested that he join a ROMEO group. Unfamiliar with ROMEO groups, Bill did some research and found that they have been around for many years all over the world. He learned that ROMEO groups are different from other clubs because they are very informal. There are no leaders, no dues, and no formal mission. The goal is simply for retired men to meet, share a meal, and talk.
Bill searched for a ROMEO group to join in Northern Virginia but only found a few groups hosted by local churches for their members. So he decided to start his own group in Vienna. He followed a local Facebook group called Vienna VA Foodies, where people talk about restaurants in Vienna, and thought it would be a good place to recruit members.
One of the first to join was Charlie Romano. He and his wife had moved from New York to Vienna during the COVID-19 pandemic and had not been able to meet many people. “Lo and behold, Bill put this post up and I couldn’t answer fast enough. I’m in!” he recalls. Eight men came to the first Vienna ROMEOs lunch on April 16, 2025, at the Hawk & Griffin in Vienna.
As more people heard about the group, more men joined – often because their wives told them about it. Bill says about 90 percent of the early replies to his Facebook post came from wives and daughters. Bruce Walker joined seven months ago after his wife signed him up. “She’s in a lot of ladies’ groups in the area. They (wives) think it’s important for their husbands to get out and talk to people in a similar kind of environment to the ones they were involved with, but about guy things,” Bruce says. Another member, Michael Sciulla, agrees, saying, “I would say that is the common denominator. Our wives have said: Get out of the house! Look what I’ve found! I’ve found a group for people just like you.”
After each twice-a-month lunch, Bill or Charlie posts a group photo on Vienna VA Foodies and invites other men to join. In the first year, the group grew quickly. There are now about 90 members, though not everyone comes to every lunch. Usually, 25-30 men show up, and the mix of people is different each time, along with a small group of regulars like Bill and Charlie. Because the group is casual, there is no pressure to attend. “We have folks that go south for the winter but will come back and be there for our summer get-togethers,” Bill says. To give more people a chance to come, Bill and Charlie schedule lunches on different days of the week.
Each lunch starts with introductions, then the talk begins. Because the mix of men changes every time, Bill now uses place cards so people can identify who they’re talking to and put names to faces. Sometimes members give short talks on topics of interest, including one member who spoke about his volunteer work. Another member talked about Artificial Intelligence and how he uses it to plan vacations.
Even though there are no official rules or officers, the Vienna ROMEOs do have one firm rule: no politics. Bruce agrees with the rule, saying, “I think politics changes the dynamic of the kind of engagement you can have with people in a group like this.” Michael, who worked in politics for many years, finds this rule hard but agrees, saying, “I think what this ROMEOs group does, at least in Vienna, is that it allows us to discover what we have in common, rather than what divides us.”
So, what do they talk about? Bill jokes that older people often start with their health problems and medications. Popular topics also include past jobs, hobbies, and travel. Members swap recommendations on everything from contractors to doctors. “You can move from group to group and have a conversation on one side of the room about the Air Force and what plane people flew, to another corner where people are talking about muscle car restoration, and a group talking about mechanical engineering,” Bruce says.
As time has passed, conversations have become deeper. “I think that speaks to the relationships that we’ve developed. There are some one-on-one discussions about feeling down, feeling low. What do you suggest I do about it,” says Bill. Members check in on each other’s families and health, asking how a spouse or relative is doing after an illness or surgery.
One challenge with a large group is finding restaurants that can seat so many people together. The group also needs places that can give separate checks. “We have found that if they have the room, restaurants are delighted that we will come,” Bill says. Because some members have mobility issues, the group looks for restaurants with good parking and few or no stairs. Recently, the Vienna ROMEOs started holding happy hours in addition to lunches. Their plan is to have two lunches and one happy hour each month.
Beyond friendship, the group gives many members a sense of purpose and something to look forward to. “For me, the hardest part of retirement was waking up in the morning and not having some place to go where people expected me to show up. It (Vienna ROMEOs) has given me a purpose to do something specific to interact with folks each week,” Bill says. Some members who recently lost their wives especially appreciate the group. Charlie explains, “A lot of times with someone who has just lost a spouse, all of their friends are couples so now you’re the single wheel. They’re more than welcoming, but you don’t feel the same. This is a one-on-one scenario where we don’t have any couples.”
If you’re thinking about starting a ROMEO group where you live, Charlie says to be ready to put in some work. “It’s not just saying to a bunch of people, I’ll be at Pazzo Pomodoro on Tuesday if anyone wants to show up. That’s great if it’s 3 or 4 people, but if you’re going to try to support something like this, you can’t just show up with 25 people.” Bill believes the Vienna ROMEOs grew so quickly because they used the Vienna VA Foodies Facebook group to spread the word. He suggests that anyone starting a group look for similar local “foodie” or community groups online and post there. That can be the easiest and fastest way to reach retired men who might want to join.
This article is part of the Golden Gazette monthly newsletter which covers a variety of topics and community news concerning older adults and caregivers in Fairfax County. Are you new to the Golden Gazette? Don’t miss out on future newsletters! Subscribe to get the electronic or free printed version mailed to you. Have a suggestion for a topic? Share it in an email or call 703-324-GOLD (4653).