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Foster Family News - 2019 January

Welcome to the 2019 January issue of Foster Family News, a monthly newsletter for current and potential Fairfax County foster parents.

Table of Contents
Bethany Shively, FCFCAA president, Shares a Special Message What Is Normal: Social Media and Our Youth Holiday Party Frequently Asked Questions: How much can I spend on clothing for children placed in my home? What is reimbursable?	Story in Statistics: Age of Foster Care Children in Foster Care Donors and Sponsors Highlights: Irving Burton Associates Upcoming Trainings

Words from Fairfax County Foster Care and Adoption Association (FCFCAA)

Believe it or not, it’s January--a time of reflecting on another year past and looking forward to new beginnings ahead. Speaking of the year past, how did you do with your foster training hours in 2018? If you’re like me, it’s sometimes hard to find the time–even though we know it’s important, and more importantly, mandatory. This year, I’m resolving to start earlier and be more consistent in doing my training hours.

Continuing education shouldn’t be a burden; in fact, if we’re doing right, it’s just the opposite. We all know foster parenting can be tough work and comes with unique challenges. To avoid burnout, it’s so important that we continue to learn and develop new skills and strategies along this journey. As you probably know, as Fairfax County foster parents, we’re required to do 10 hours of training each year. But you may not be aware of how many options there are to get these hours done.

The county offers a variety of highly relevant in-person sessions throughout the year. Not only are these great learning opportunities on timely topics, but they’re also a good way to get to know some of your fellow foster parents and to engage with county staff. To help foster parents plan ahead, the county has recently made an effort to compile the sessions into an annual calendar. If you need a copy, reach out to Eileen Dixon with the DFS Resource and Support program. You should be receiving emails from Eileen with details in advance of each training opportunity, so be on the lookout and start marking your calendars now!

Did you know you can also access Fairfax County-approved classes online through Foster Parent College? If you are a certified foster parent in the county, you should have received a link with a login. If you didn't, or if you lost it, contact your resource worker. Class topics range from physical aggression to supporting normalcy, maintaining healthy birth-family relationships, and much, much more. Just keep in mind, the majority of your mandatory training hours still need to be in person. One tip from personal experience: If you and your spouse/partner are taking the online training together, you will both need to login in individually with your unique user IDs in order for both of you to get credit.

There are also several non-profit organizations outside of the county that provide education for foster and adoptive families, and many of these trainings can count toward your mandatory annual hours.

Are you following Formed Families Forward? If not, you should be! Visit formedfamiliesforward.org for new training videos designed for educators and families on the topic of trauma. You can also download the free 2018-19 Resource Directory featuring hundreds of organizations, agencies, and other resources for adoptive, foster, and kinship families raising youth with special needs.

Another great resource for training and support services for foster, kinship, and adoptive families is our friends at NewFound Families Virginia. In fact, the organization recently partnered with Maid Brigade through their Angels program to provide a free house cleaning to a Fairfax County foster family. Congratulations to Cheryl Cain of Herndon, who was the lucky winner of the drawing! For more information on their services, be sure to follow NewFound Families Virginia on Facebook and check out their https://newfoundva.org/.

Finally, for any of you, like me, who have finalized an adoption from foster care in Virginia since July 2017, did you know you are eligible for case management services for up to 12 months from the date of finalization at no cost to you? Funding is provided by the Virginia Department of Social Services via the Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.). C.A.S.E. also offers training, therapy, and conferences for adoptive families. I had an opportunity to attend my first C.A.S.E. conference in November and it was fantastic! Learn more at adoptionsupport.org.

Wishing you and your families all the best for a healthy and happy 2019! Hope to see you at some upcoming training sessions!

Bethany Shively
President
Fairfax County Foster Care and Adoption Association (FCFCAA)

What Is Normal: Social Media and Our Youth

It may be tempting to forbid children and youth to use social media, but this is seldom realistic. In addition, forbidding social networking may make it harder for youth in foster care to fit in with friends and relate to other teenagers in the community. Instead, foster parents should provide guidance and boundaries to help youth in their care use social media safely.

This guidance is intended to support foster parents in understanding their own obligations around the use of social media in relation to a youth in foster care. It also provides tips to help foster parents ensure the safe use of social media by the youth. Note: Use of social media is not recommended for a child younger than 13.

Social media provides benefits for youth
Social ties. Social media helps youth in foster care fit in with their peers and fosters normalcy.
When using social media appropriately, youth can keep in touch with friends, siblings, and others and make new connections.

Family connections. Between visits, youth in foster care may share posts or have online conversations with biological family members, when appropriate and approved by the foster care specialist.

Self-expression. Videos, blogs, and other digital venues allow youth in foster care to express their feelings and ideas, which can help shape their identity and contribute to healing from childhood trauma.

Support. Through online community groups, youth in foster care can share experiences with peers
who have had similar experiences. For examples of this, see FosterClub (www.fosterclub.com/forums/youth-message-board) and Foster Care Alumni of America (www.facebook.com/FCAANational).

What are the risks?
Youth in foster care may be particularly vulnerable to inappropriate contact, cyberbullying, or child predators. In addition, social networks and private messaging may aid in communication with adults or family members who are “off limits.”

Guidance to help youth use social media safely
You can help your foster child stay safe while using social media with these tips:

Develop a social media plan in writing with your youth’s foster care specialist. Discuss safety needs and concerns that may affect your youth’s use of social media and whether he or she had any past issues with social media use.
Include your house rules for what’s OK and what’s not in the social media plan. Rules will likely vary with the youth’s age, but setting them early is important. At Common Sense Media, you can find sample family media agreements for different age groups.
Discuss and finalize social media plan with youth in your care. Ask youth how they use social media and private messaging and why it’s important to them. Share and discuss Child Welfare Information Gateway’s social media tip sheet for youth.
Set strict privacy settings. Use privacy settings to help youth limit who can find them online, which posts or photos can be seen, and who has contact permissions. Find information for Facebook settings (www.facebook.com/safety/parents), and Instagram, Snapchat, and other networks (learn more here www.facebook.com/safety/parents).
Teach youth to keep personal information private. Advise youth in foster care not to post their full name, address, school name, phone number, or other identifying information. Parents magazine provides an extensive tip sheet on keeping youth safe from identity theft. Learn more here www.parents.com/kids/safety/tips/how-to-prevent-child-identity-theft.
Learn about social media sites and apps. Keep abreast of current technology and best practices for the most popular social media sites and apps youth are using today. Learn more here www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/social-media-apps-parents-should-know-about.
Be aware of online gaming risks. Online games can be unsafe as players often interact with others on gaming platforms. Youth should avoid posting pictures of themselves or giving personal information while playing online games, and they should know they can come to you if they are being bullied or harassed. Be aware of the kind of games your youth plays and discuss the risks. Learn more about online gaming at www.internetmatters.org/advice/online-gaming.
Monitor use. Station computers in a shared area (not a bedroom), and keep track of mobile device use. Know what type of social media your youth uses. Consider asking youth for passwords and permission to let a trusted adult “friend” them. However, try to balance monitoring with privacy. Installing an online monitoring program can also help watch out for inappropriate use.
Conduct searches. Every so often, search a youth’s name and address to see what information or tagged photos are publicly available.
Watch out for profiles on dating apps or risky matchmaking sites. Look for use of dating sites like OKCupid, Match.com, or Tinder, which may not be appropriate for teens. Smart Social (https://smartsocial.com/app-guide-parents-teachers/) keeps track of appropriate and inapproriate apps for youth.
Explain the need to be careful. Make sure youth understand that online not everyone is who they say they are. Advise youth to avoid sharing intimate photos and messaging about sex online.
Discuss cyberbullying. Warn youth not to send, forward, or respond to mean or embarrassing messages or pictures. Help youth document, block, and report bullying if needed.
Keep lines of communication open. Encourage youth to let you know if an exchange makes them uncomfortable, if someone is sending them inappropriate photos, or if anyone asks to meet them in person. Appreciate your youth’s participation in their online communities and show interest in their friends. Educate your youth in developing healthy relationships using social media; be kind and respectful.
Check out what the child or young person knows. It can be easy to assume that all young people are experts in technology and know how to protect themselves online. Children who may have missed schooling may also have missed this teaching at school.
Understand their language. Teens communicate in a different language. They may use abbreviations, hashtags, and emoji in their online communications. Learn more about decoding teenspeak at http://time.com/4373616/text-abbreviationsacronyms.
Be prepared to deal with mistakes. When youth slip up and don’t follow guidelines, approach the situation as a teachable moment and calmly work together on next steps.

Adapted from "Social Media: Tips for Foster Parents and Caregivers" (Child Welfare Information Gateway)

Holiday Party

Each newsletter will include this section to help answer questions, spotlight the people who support foster families, highlight the donors and sponsors who generously give to foster care programs and activities and friendly reminders for foster families to sign-up for trainings.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Question: How much can I spend on clothing for children placed in my home? What is reimbursable?

Answer: The Virginia Department of Social Services administers a yearly clothing allowance to all children in foster care. The amount depends on the age of the child and is listed on the Financial Agreement foster parents sign at the time a child joins their family. Clothing, socks, shoes, coats, scarves, hats, gloves, and undergarments are reimbursable. Individualized receipts are required for each child. If upon a child’s arrival, it is necessary to buy clothes, foster parents should spend no more than $100 until the 5-Day Hearing. Any amount of money spent in the first few days of a child’s arrival is applied to the yearly amount. The monthly maintenance also provides money for additional clothing expenditures, and this amount varies based on the age of the child. This amount is given in addition to the annual clothing allowance, and it does not require receipts.

Check out other frequently asked questions and answers from past issues.

STORY IN STATISTICS

As of June 30, 2018, these are the ages of foster children in foster care in Fairfax County: 7% are younger than 1 year of age; 17% are 1-5 years old; 13% are 6-10 years old; 24% are 11-15 years old; and 39% are 16-20 years old.

DONORS AND SPONSORS HIGHLIGHTS

Our partners and donors are the true power behind communities of care for Fairfax County Foster Care and Adoption. With them we can provide amazing support services, community events and after care resources.

This issue highlights the Irving Burton Associates.

We were supported by a bevy of new donors in 2018, including Irving Burton Associates, a leading technology consulting services firm with federal clients, which provided a generous donation to our annual holiday party.