Welcome to the 2022 December issue of Volunteer Voices, a monthly newsletter for current and potential Domestic and Sexual Violence Services (DSVS) volunteers.
In this Issue:
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Hello, DSVS Volunteers!
My name is Lois Kirkpatrick. I’m a part-time employee here with two jobs: (1) I staff the Fairfax County Commission for Women, and (2) I’m the strategic plan coordinator for the Domestic and Sexual Violence Services Division. I started working here on May 7, 2022.
Recently, I taught an exercise class at a gym one Friday after work, and then accidentally dropped a five-pound barbell on my toe, breaking the bone. Since then, I’ve been wearing an ortho boot. Dealing with pain every day has been distracting and exhausting. My regular routines are thrown off, and simple tasks take a lot of thought and effort.
I can’t imagine what it’s like for some of our clients, who have to deal with more than just broken bones. On top of pain and fatigue, they may have fears about keeping their job, fears about keeping their home, fears for their children, and fears for their personal safety. It’s overwhelming. That’s why what you do as a volunteer is so important. Your voice might be the only calm voice our client hears all day. Thank you so much for being patient when they seem confused. Thank you for understanding when some are quick to get upset. Thank you for realizing that simple things become hard to handle when some part of your life breaks. If you don’t work with clients directly, thank you for all your work behind the scenes. What you do matters. If your contribution helps even one person get back on their feet, it’s worth it.
Lois Kirkpatrick
Liaison to Commission for Women
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The Self-Care Iceberg
When we think about self-care, images of yoga mats, candles, and bubble baths spring to mind. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Actual self-care includes things like crying, setting boundaries, healing from trauma, and more. Get more information about the self-care iceberg.
TED Talk: Domestic—Violence What Everyone Needs to Know
In this TED Talk survivor Hannah Petrillo brings awareness to the hidden yet prevalent world of domestic violence. Her personal anecdotes illustrate the complexities of the issue and give her audience a deeper understanding into its trappings. She discusses the progression of an abusive relationship, the reason someone might stay, the cycle of abuse, early warning signs, and her road to healing. Petrillo calls on each of us to fight domestic violence by educating ourselves on the topic, by sharing our stories, and by modeling/teaching to our children what a healthy relationship looks like.
“The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.” –Anonymous
Each newsletter will include this section to help share reviews, spotlight the people who support Domestic and Sexual Violence Services, recognize birthdays and list upcoming trainings and meetings.
It’s been a busy time for The Fairfax County Juvenile & Domestic Relations District Court. This arm of the county’s court system hears cases involving juveniles, crimes against juveniles, and family matters (except divorce) in the county, the City of Fairfax, and the towns of Herndon, Vienna, and Clifton. Volunteer Voices recently sat down with Tina Spurlock, acting director of Domestic Relations Services in the JDRDC, to talk about what the court does, how it interacts with Domestic and Sexual Violence Services, and its partnership with the Domestic Violence Action Center. Read an excerpt from that discussion.
"Leave No Trace"
“Leave No Trace” (Hulu) is the heartbreaking documentary about the sex abuse scandal that rocked Boy Scouts of America. Earlier this year, BSA agreed to a nearly $3 billion settlement for survivors of the abuse. It is the largest settlement of its kind for sexual abuse survivors, an amount that has driven the organization into bankruptcy. But as the documentary shows, money doesn’t adequately compensate the more than 80,000 boys and men who have come forward to share their stories of assault and torture and the ways in which their lives have been destroyed.
Perhaps most troubling is the knowledge that BSA knew—going back as far as the 1920s—that it had a pedophile problem among its ranks. One troop leader admits in a blog that he, like most pedophiles, went where the boys are, and the boys are in the Scouts. Instead of rooting out the crimes, BSA administration, reminiscent of the Catholic Church with its own similar scandal, moved abusive Scout leaders and volunteers to different troops and states, leaving criminals to continue assaulting new groups of unsuspecting boys and their families.
Equally disturbing is the age of many of the survivors. Though “Leave No Trace” does include a pair of teenage brothers who survived recent abuse (the elder cuts himself to deal with twin traumas: his own abuse and not stepping forward to protect his younger brother; the younger fled before his interview even began), most of the men interviewed are middle-aged and older, keeping secret the pain and anguish they’d endured as boys and teens but reliving it for the documentary in as raw and real ways as if it happened yesterday. Many of them are just now, north of age 50, starting to deal with the fallout from decades ago.
“Leave No Trace” expertly exposes the hypocritical nature of BSA in dealing with the abuse of generations of boys who wanted nothing more than to hike, fish, camp, and gain leadership skills with like-minded boys, while quietly peeling back the layers of trauma scouts have endured. Despite shining a light on the financial win for survivors, the documentary leaves viewers haunted and sad.
This review was written by Kendra Lee, communications specialist in the Department of Family Services.
Meet Marjorie Braxton, Hotline Volunteer
“Volunteering is a way to get involved in my community. Domestic and Sexual Violence Services was my first choice for a volunteer opportunity because it has always been a personal passion of mine,” says Marjorie Braxton, hotline volunteer. “I want victims to know they’re not alone and there are many resources and support so they don’t have to live in fear.” Learn more about Marjorie’s volunteer story.
Shannon Lyle, 9
Margaret (Meg) Collins, 17
Aimee Baldillo, 23
Mary Shoukat, 29
Leanne Myers, 30
Take a stab at this month's brain teaser with this word search.
Winter 2023 Volunteer Orientation
Sign up to learn about DSVS, the services the division provides and the population it serves. Discover how volunteers can contribute to the DSVS mission and the application process. Orientation is free but registration is required. Multiple dates are available. Choose the one that works best for you.
Wednesday, Jan. 4, 2023, 9-10 a.m.
Thursday, Jan. 5, 2023, 6-7 p.m.
Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2023, 8:30-9:30 a.m.
Wednesday, Jan. 11, 2023, 6-7 p.m.
Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2023, 9-10 a.m.
Wednesday, Jan. 18, 2023, 6-7 p.m.
Friday, Jan. 20, 2023, Noon-1 p.m.
Monday, Jan. 23, 2023, 6-7 p.m.
Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2023, 6-7 p.m.
What kind of trainings interest you? Send your ideas to Tanisha Cox.
Quarterly Meeting Holiday Potluck
Wednesday, Dec. 14, 2022
6-8 p.m.
Join us to celebrate you and the holidays, potluck style! Please add the dish you will bring to the sign-up list. There will be a training on vicarious trauma, self-care, appreciation gifts, and an ugly sweater contest! This is a family friendly event.
Please take a moment to log on to your Volunteer Management System (VMS) account and log your hours for the month of November. Please also log any time you spent on training under “volunteer training.” If you do not see this selection under your opportunities, please email Tanisha Cox, and she will log on to add it to your account.
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Please enter your hours for each day you volunteered and not as a lump sum.
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If you need to log hours for a previous month, please email Tanisha Cox to let her know so she can be aware of the entry and expedite the approval process.
Check out past issues of Volunteer Voices.