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Volunteer Voices – 2023 December

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Welcome to the 2023 December issue of Volunteer Voices, a monthly newsletter for current and potential Domestic and Sexual Violence Services (DSVS) volunteers.

In this Issue:

Table of Contents
Notes from the Staff Self-Care Corner: How to Prioritize Self-Care During the Holidays 8 Things to Know about Homelessness and Domestic Violence TED Talk: Volunteering: Empowering Others, Empowering Yourself Quotables Program Spotlight: Outreach and Education	Join the Conversations! Reviews: “Depp v. Heard” Raising My Voice: Meet Erica Fisher, Administrative Volunteer Birthdays Test Your Brain Educational Resources Make a Note! Parting Shot

Notes from Staff

photo of Sultan Ludd My name is Sultan Ludd, and I am new to Fairfax County Government! I have been working with the Department of Family Services in the Domestic and Sexual Violence Services (DSVS) division since September 2023. Currently, I serve as a management analyst III/cross division operations manager, and I oversee both the data and administrative teams within DSVS.

Before arriving at DSVS, my primary background was in financial services, which includes over 25 years of industry experience in the retirement administration field. In my last position, I worked for a non-profit company with a mission to build retirement security for public sector employees, so I have always enjoyed the aspect of helping serve clients while providing stellar customer service to them. Here at DSVS, I am looking forward to upholding these same values while serving my community in a different capacity. This includes assessing the needs of individuals in need of social services as well as working with team members to help streamline processes, promote data-driven decisions, and pioneer any technological enhancements.

During my leisure time, I am an avid sports fan, so basketball and football are my two favorites! My wife, son, and I can often be found attending various sporting events throughout the DMV, which includes the Wizards, Nationals, and Terps! In addition, I have a strong passion for youth sports, so I volunteer as the commissioner for a local organization’s high school basketball league. Finally, I enjoy various forms of group fitness and regularly participate in activities such as yoga, running, and bootcamp.

Words cannot express how truly grateful I am to be part of the DSVS family, so I am excited about my new journey and the opportunities that lie ahead!

Sultan Ludd
Cross Division Operations

Self-Care Corner: How to Prioritize Self-Care During the Holidays

woman holding candle

The holiday season is typically seen as a time of joy and merriment; of family and friends gathering and celebrating together. However, many have begun to have honest conversations about the darker side of “the most wonderful time of year.”

For many with mental illness, or those who have family and loved ones who face mental health issues, these can be tremendously difficult times. Perhaps we hope to feel connected to—and understood by — those around us during upcoming celebrations, only to be disappointed. Or maybe we imagine fulfilling family dinners, only to struggle fitting in. We might plan for parties with friends, only to find we’re feeling trapped in our own minds and lost to waves of depression.

These “holiday blues,” however, can be managed. Here are a few ways to create self-care activities to help carry us through the season.

8 Things to Know about Homelessness and Domestic Violence

woman and child sitting by the window Survivors of domestic violence deserve to feel safe, and securing housing is a crucial step in their healing journey. No survivor should be forced to stay with someone who harms them just to keep a roof over their head. Learn more about the connection between domestic violence and homelessness and how to find available resources.

TED Talk: Volunteering – Empowering Others, Empowering Yourself

Photo of Kamilla What if volunteering was one opportunity that could help you create the life of your dreams? Imagine yourself as a changemaker where you can overcome fears, break stereotypes, and remove barriers? In this TED Talk, Kamilla Sultanova, public speaker and diversity and inclusion expert, tells the story of how volunteering changed her life and how it can empower anybody involved in it. Find out why volunteering is no longer a nice-to-have but necessary to start a life with meaning, skillset, and quality human connections.

Quotables

“Beauty is not who you are on the outside. It is the wisdom and time you gave away to save another struggling soul like you.” –Shannon L. Alder

Each newsletter will include this section to help share reviews, spotlight the people who support Domestic and Sexual Violence Services, recognize birthdays and list upcoming trainings and meetings.

Program Spotlight: Outreach and Education

photo of outreach meeting Domestic and Sexual Violence Services’ Prevention, Education, and Coordination team is committed to raising awareness about domestic violence, sexual violence, stalking, and human trafficking. Learn more about the services our outreach staff and educators provide; request a presentation or training; or check out upcoming trainings and sign-up!

Unscripted

Join the Conversations!

Domestic and Sexual Violence Services has a new podcast, Unscripted: Conversations about Sexual and Domestic Violence. Domestic and Sexual Violence Services has a podcast, Unscripted: Conversations about Sexual and Domestic Violence. Stay in the know with these biweekly discussions! Check out this one about the effect of the holidays on unhealthy relationships.

Reviews

“Depp v. Heard”

Netflix released a documentary this year about the Johnny Depp v. Amber Heard defamation trial, which was held here in Fairfax County in 2022. For those of you not familiar with the case, Johnny Depp sued Amber Heard after she mentioned being a domestic violence victim in a Washington Post interview, implying Depp was the abusive partner in the relationship. The docuseries follows the trial, in which cameras were allowed, and shares social media influence and reactions to the hearings, along with various interviews with individuals of different backgrounds.

There are many themes and topics that relate to the work we do that arise during these hearings; these will be highlighted below.

First, there is discomfort around the idea of a male being a victim of domestic violence at the hands of a female intimate partner. From my experience watching the docuseries, there were abusive acts committed by both parties in this relationship, which also lends itself to another issue: Can domestic violence be mutual at times? Is there always one clear cut “victim” and “abuser”? Our work at DSVS tells us in some relationships, there can be shifting roles when it comes to violence—not always, but sometimes. Often, when this happens, there is untreated substance use and mental health disorders involved, which clearly comes up as a factor in the violence between Depp and Heard.

Another topic brought to light in this trial is the role of social media, victim blaming, and celebrity favoritism. It seems evident from watching the docuseries that the media demonized Heard and was quick to take Depp’s side in this case. This was also seen by the large number of Depp supporters who showed up outside the courthouse to cheer him on daily during the hearings. Why was she demonized, and why was he put on a pedestal? Watching how Heard was treated reinforced the issue of people having a difficult time coming forward to discuss these personal issues in a potentially very public manner. At one point during the hearing, she is testifying about an alleged sexual assault—the very first time a testimony of this nature was televised for the world to see. Social media influencers took clips of these testimonies and used them to poke fun at and tear apart the character of people experiencing something very traumatic and difficult, retraumatizing them. Why are people taking sides here? Why can’t we just feel empathy for two people who were in a very toxic relationship?

Lastly, for me, it brought up this specific question: What is domestic violence? According to Depp and his lawyers, his throwing bottles around while using intimidating language and being highly intoxicated was not violence since Heard was not actually hit during that incident. I struggled with that. If I were in that kitchen while my partner behaved that way, it would have scared me. To me and many others, that is violence. We know emotional and psychological violence can do even more damage than physical violence. Why is that being minimized and overlooked?

This trial lacked accountability and compassion on both sides. It left a bad taste in my mouth and reminded me we still have a long way to go to prevent and stop interpersonal violence. Maybe our takeaway from bearing witness to this highly publicized case is that we have more work to do and that what we do is important and valuable.

This review was written by Jen Perkins, ADAPT supervisor.

Raising My Voice

Meet Erica Fisher, Administrative Volunteer*

“The best thing for me has been feeling like a useful part of this amazing agency. I love speaking with clients and the public, assuring them they’ve made the right decision to call and they’re no longer in this alone,” says former Domestic and Sexual Violence Services administrative volunteer Erica Fisher. “I also enjoy knowing I’m helping take some of the workload off the other admins and team members.” Learn more about Erica’s volunteer journey.

Donor Spotlight: Comfort Cases

Rob Scheer founded Comfort Cases as a result of his own experience in foster care and his recall of living out of a trash bag. After he adopted four young people who arrived at their new home with trash bags, he started the non-profit, which gives out backpacks that include a blanket, pajamas, toiletry items, an activity, and a book. Since its inception, Comfort Cases has provided 42,000 cases in 41 states. In September of this year, Comfort Cases donated 238 cases to displaced and relocating clients of DSVS. DSVS then shared half of the cases with our partners at Artemis House. Read more about Comfort Cases here and listen to Rob’s story here.

Birthdays

Shannon Lyle, 9
Aimee Baldillo, 23
Mary Shoukat, 29
Leanne Myers, 30

Test Your Brain

Give your mind a run for the money with this Sudoku puzzle!

Answer key

Educational Resources

Unpacking Gender
Tuesday, Dec. 5, 2023
7-8:30 p.m.
Herndon Fortnightly Library
768 Center Street
Herndon, VA 20170

Participants will explore the messages we are taught about gender and how they can affect our relationships with ourselves, loved ones, and community. We will discuss the impact gender roles and stereotypes have on everyone and how this knowledge can help us prevent violence. This workshop is aimed at parents, guardians, family members, and other caregivers interested in learning how to talk about gender with the children, teens, and young adults in their life. This workshop is free, but registration is required.

Volunteer Quarterly Meeting
Tuesday, Dec. 19, 2023
6 p.m.

DSVS Orientation for Prospective Volunteers
Virtual
Introduction to Fairfax County's Domestic and Sexual Violence Services. Description of the opportunities for volunteers to contribute to the agency's mission. Summary of the application process. Multiple dates and times in January; choose the best option for you.

Make a Note!

Please take a moment to log on to your Volunteer Management System (VMS) account and log your hours for the month of November. Please also log any time you spent on training under “volunteer training.” If you do not see this selection under your opportunities, please email Tanisha Cox, and she will log on to add it to your account. Please enter your hours for each day you volunteered and not as a lump sum. If you need to log hours for a previous month, please email Tanisha Cox to let her know so she can be aware of the entry and expedite the approval process.

Please enter your hours for each day you volunteered and not as a lump sum.
If you need to log hours for a previous month, please email Tanisha Cox to let her know so she can be aware of the entry and expedite the approval process.

Parting Shot

DSVS volunteers tabled the Fairfax County Police Department’s K-9 Krawl in October, no lie, but the pups stole the show! This annual event brings awareness to the link between animal cruelty and domestic violence.

Check out past issues of Volunteer Voices.

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Volunteer Voices – 2023 December

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