Welcome to the 2020 August issue of Volunteer Voices, a monthly newsletter for current and potential Domestic and Sexual Violence Services (DSVS) volunteers.
In this Issue:
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Summertime Self-Care
Hello! My name is Jennifer Perkins and I am a counselor with the ADAPT program. I have been with DSVS for almost 12 years and have had the pleasure of working with many volunteers, some of whom are now dear friends. I really miss seeing my volunteer friends in person and am looking forward to the day we can work together in person again.
One of the many areas we address in the ADAPT program with our participants is the importance of self-care. However, good self-care is important for everyone, not just the community members we serve. I find summertime is an especially fun time to attend to self-care since we have so many more options.
At the top of the list is spending more time outside. Just breathing in fresh air and getting a healthy dose of vitamin D can make a world of difference for our mental and physical health. I love walking on the many beautiful trails in Fairfax County with my dog and my kids. We are so fortunate to have so many parks here. I also enjoy spending time swimming or being near water. Lastly, I love sitting outside in the early hours of a summer morning, before others are awake and before it has gotten too uncomfortably hot outside, drinking a cup of coffee and listening to a good podcast. These are just a few ways I practice self-care in the summer months.
I hope you are all enjoying your summers and practicing good self-care. I look forward to the time we can be together in person again. Take good care and hope to see you soon!
Jennifer Perkins
Domestic and Sexual Violence Counselor, ADAPT
Though Fairfax County’s office buildings currently are closed to the public, DSVS volunteers can still help answer the Domestic and Sexual Violence 24-Hour Hotline. We are also still providing hospital accompaniment via the phone. If you have questions about your role during the pandemic, contact Lynne Rowson or Ara Jo (Hotline) and Angela Acosta (Hospital Accompaniment).
Each newsletter will include this section to help share reviews, spotlight the people who support Domestic and Sexual Violence Services, recognize birthdays and list upcoming trainings and meetings.
You
What comes to mind when you imagine a stalker? Do you think of a shadowy figure following someone down a lonely street? Do you imagine a menacing person whose sole purpose is to threaten and cause fear? “You” creates a believable profile of a young man named Joe Goldberg who targets and pursues women through stalking behaviors. According to the Department of Justice, “stalking is a pattern of repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, contact, or any other course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.”[1] Although Joe (played by Penn Badgley) refers to his behaviors as a sign of care and devotion to his target, his actions escalate in frequency and severity of violence.
“You” premiered in 2018 on Lifetime before Netflix acquired exclusive international rights over the show. It is a psychological thriller, narrated from Joe’s perspective, which allows the viewer to grasp fully the twists and turns of Joe’s logic. Joe meets Beck, a struggling writer and student at NYU, at the bookstore where he works and takes immediate interest in her. Once Joe has decided he is attracted to her and wants to be with her, a decision he makes very quickly, he searches through all of her social media pages to “get to know her.”
The show paces itself well, beginning with behaviors that don’t necessarily appear abnormal or harmful. Many viewers can probably relate to the habit of looking someone up online when the person pique’s their interest. However, Joe’s behaviors quickly start to escalate. He discovers where Beck lives based on context clues from her photos. Once he has this information, he frequently watches Beck from outside a window, documenting her movements, watching her change and even masturbating. He steals her phone after helping Beck on a drunken night out and holds on to it so he can still access her information, messages, photos and texts through the iCloud when she buys a new iPhone.
Outwardly, Joe is caring and invested in Beck’s well-being, so she ultimately enters into a relationship with him, not realizing the reason Joe is able to anticipate her needs is because he is aggressively tracking her. The viewer is privy to the increasingly chaotic and scary self-narration that justifies Joe’s actions.
By the end of the first season, Joe engages in acts of violence against anyone he considers a threat to his relationship with Beck, including Beck herself, and reveals his stalking behaviors are a pattern of power and control that existed before Beck entered his life.
One element I truly appreciate about “You” is its portrayal of gender-based violence. Through the show, we see the horror of Joe’s behaviors, but it is also juxtaposed with other portrayals of male privilege and violence. In the series, Joe befriends a young boy named Pablo, whose mother is abused by her boyfriend. Joe makes it his personal mission to protect Pablo and his mother from the abusive boyfriend, without recognizing how elements of his behavior mimic the violent and controlling patterns of intimate partner violence.
Through flashbacks and recollection, we learn Joe experienced child abuse and witness how male violence has shaped Joe’s understanding of himself and the world. And, in the end, when Pablo has the chance to save a woman’s life, he ultimately discards her, possibly suggesting that, like Joe, Pablo can act indifferently and even callously to the humanity of women around him because of the influence violent men have had on his understanding.
While the show does not suggest survivors of violence are doomed to become violent, it does allow us to see that gender-based and intimate partner violence take many different shapes that are often justified by our society.
If you are ready for a gripping thriller that uniquely portrays stalking from the perspective of the person causing harm instead of the person victimized, “You” might be your next Netflix binge! And don’t worry, there’s more where this came from in “You,” season 2. –Helen McDonald
Meet Adrienne Williams, DSVS Hospital Accompaniment and ADAPT volunteer!
"Volunteering is a way to pay it forward." Learn more about why Adrienne Williams volunteers with Domestic and Sexual Violence Services.
Nazia Jawad, 14
Himabindu (Bindi) Mandava, 15
Tina Mather, 18
Wendy Werner, 18
Levette Fondaumiere, 23
Active DSVS volunteers may sign up for training. If you are interested in a training and not currently volunteering with DSVS, please contact Debra Ranf or visit the VOICES web page for current volunteer opportunities.
No Body Left Behind: Advocating for Survivors Through a Disability Justice Lens
Tuesday, Aug. 4, 2020, 3-4:30 p.m.
The Way Forward: Emerging Strategies for Crime Victims of Color: Shaping the Future of Healing Justice
Tuesday, Aug. 4, 2020, 2-3 p.m.
Strangulation Series, Part 3
Thursday, Aug. 6, 2020, 2-3:30 p.m.
Domestic Violence and Pets
Wednesday, Aug. 19, 2020, 3-4:30 pm
Strangulation Series, Part 4
Thursday, Aug. 27, 2020, 2-3:30 p.m.
There are none scheduled at this time.
Please take a moment to log on to your Volunteer Management System (VMS) account and log your hours for the month of July. Please also log any time you spent on training under “volunteer training.” If you do not see this selection under your opportunities, please email Debra Ranf, and she will log on to add it to your account.
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Please enter your hours for each day you volunteered and not as a lump sum.
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If you need to log hours for a previous month, please send email Debra to let her know so she can be aware of the entry and expedite the approval process.
Check out past issues of Volunteer Voices.