Welcome to the 2021 May issue of Volunteer Voices, a monthly newsletter for current and potential Domestic and Sexual Violence Services (DSVS) volunteers.
In this Issue:
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Dear DSVS volunteers,
My name is Soo Jin Kim and I joined the staff of DSVS in June 2019. Originally from South Korea, I have worked with victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse in the Korean community of the Greater Washington area for over 13 years. In hopes of working with more diverse communities, I knocked on DSVS’s door. Currently, I am working at the Domestic Violence Action Center (DVAC) as a victim advocate, providing advocacy services to victims of domestic violence, sexual abuse, stalking and trafficking.
I am still learning, from our clients and their communities, from my coworkers, supervisors and the systems that oversee and interact with our work. But even as a relative newcomer to this role, I am impressed and inspired by our volunteers. Every one of you I have met so far has impressed me as passionate, dedicated and committed. I would like to express appreciation for the help you provide to our clients, enabling them to attain justice in their lives, as well as feeling supported and empowered.
Since the pandemic broke out, I started watching the “Avengers” movies with my family--and we’ve all become big fans! Along with being different in gender, race and age, each of them has a unique (and extraordinary!) power, and even they sometimes make mistakes. Nevertheless, they’re always able to overcome their differences and unite with one purpose: to help and protect the Earth from threats.
I think they are like us. We all come from different backgrounds and we each have our own abilities. Most of all, we are working together as the DSVS team in our respective places, to create and nurture a safe community for a diverse population.
We are the Avengers of DSVS!
Soo Jin Kim
Victim Advocate
Grounding Exercises Can Help
When we practice self-care, we decrease our stress levels and increase our resilience. One way to get started with self-care is through grounding, which helps keep us in the here and now. Grounding exercises don’t have to be grand or expensive gestures. They can be done any place, any time—and no one even has to know you’re doing them! Learn more about how grounding exercises can help.
Did You Know
Did you know the pandemic has disproportionately affected communities of color, especially Black, indigenous and Latino people (Fairfax County Epidemiology & Population)?
Did you know people have been homeless throughout United States history for various reasons, including economics, laws and public policy decisions, wars, natural disasters, societal trends, and public attitudes about who deserves support?
Learn the answers to these questions.
“Wherever you turn, you can find someone who needs you. Even if it is a little thing, do something for which there is no pay but the privilege of doing it. Remember, you don’t live in the world all of your own.”
—Albert Schweitzer
Though Fairfax County’s office buildings currently are closed to the public, DSVS volunteers can still help answer the Domestic and Sexual Violence 24-Hour Hotline. We are also still providing hospital accompaniment via the phone. If you have questions about your role during the pandemic, contact Lynne Rowson or Ara Jo (Hotline) and Angela Acosta (Hospital Accompaniment).
Each newsletter will include this section to help share reviews, spotlight the people who support Domestic and Sexual Violence Services, recognize birthdays and list upcoming trainings and meetings.
Countywide Coordination Team
“The coordinated community response in Fairfax County brings together key players countywide to identify and address any gaps in our system of support to develop strategies and approaches to our community’s response to domestic violence, sexual violence, human trafficking and stalking.” Learn more about how the Countywide Coordination Team serves the community.
“Allen v. Farrow”
I highly recommend the 4-part HBO series “Allen v. Farrow,” which documents Woody Allen’s history of abusive behaviors and demonstrates that even when abusers are wealthy and powerful, we can recognize patterns of domestic violence and child sexual abuse.
I had not appreciated before the extent to which Allen had increasingly controlled, denigrated and isolated Mia Farrow during their 13-year relationship. His techniques will sound familiar, despite the fact that she was a talented and beautiful star. Their relationship was on his terms, and he isolated her from her friends and business life. He took over her career: She would appear only in his films, and he said she no longer needed an agent to represent her. He told her she was too old and no one else would hire her, and he could replace her in an instant, so she was lucky to work with him. They made 13 films together in a 10-year period.
Farrow chose to have a large family and had adopted several children in addition to those she had with former husband, Andre Previn. She loved Allen and encouraged him to be a father figure, though he kept his own residence and did not take caretaking responsibilities. So she tried not to object when he seemed obsessed with toddler daughter Dylan.
But Farrow discovered explicit nude photos of teen daughter Soon-Yi in Allen’s apartment, and his staff reported that Soon-Yi had been leaving high school at lunch time to meet him for sex. He promised it would not happen again, though the HBO filmmakers documented his long pattern of sexual relationships with teen girls, often reflected in his films.
Soon after, Allen came to Farrow’s lake house when she wasn’t there, and, according to reports by the babysitter and 7-year-old Dylan, sexually assaulted Dylan. Allen was able to pressure political leaders, and he waged a media campaign to portray Farrow as an angry scorned lover who made up the charges. In another familiar step, he preemptively filed for custody of three of the children, claiming Farrow was an unfit parent. While the custody trial and media coverage were grueling, the judge ruled Allen was a poor parent and had abused Dylan and should not be allowed contact with the children. Yet the defense he popularized, the spurious parental alienation syndrome, was used successfully by fathers facing charges of child sexual abuse for decades afterward.
Allen was able to continue to make films and collect awards, making healing even more difficult for Dylan, who tried to go public with her story in 2014, but got little response. But I encourage you to read her amazing essay in The New York Times. When she tried again, times had changed and she was supported by the Me Too movement.
Interestingly Dylan’s younger brother Ronan Farrow, who went on to win the Pulitzer Prize for his documentation of sexual abuse by producer Harvey Weinstein, initially discouraged Dylan from going public, but was in turn inspired by her courage. While it’s not covered in the documentary, Weinstein called his friend Allen to get tips on how to discredit Ronan Farrow and his accusers. Weinstein got NBC leadership to cancel the report. But progress had been made on this front, and those tactics were no longer effective, as Ronan Farrow found another outlet for the story. He has gone on to expose sexual abuse by others in power.
“Allen v. Farrow” effectively recounts the struggles and resilience of Dylan, her mother and their family as they grapple with the effects of abuse. It documents the mostly awful but sometimes positive response of our society and institutions. It is a vivid, complex portrayal that is definitely worth viewing.
—Michelle Mueller
Meet Alex Karam, Counseling Group Co-facilitator
“I have worked with trauma survivors for many years, but before I started at DSVS, I had never worked with men struggling with the ongoing effects of childhood sexual abuse,” said Alex Karam, counseling group co-facilitator. “I am inspired by what the men choose to share and the ways they support each other on their journeys toward healing.” Learn more about Alex’s volunteer story.
Margaret Baxter, 3
Marci Robinson, 9
Lola Ulomi, 20
Anna Fuentes, 28
Kaitlin Couillard, 29
Linda McMillen, 29
Training: Impact of Child Sexual Abuse on Adult Male Survivors
Monday, May 17, 2021
3-4:30 p.m.
Join Doug Tinder as he shares his story of surviving and healing from childhood sexual abuse to help normalize conversations about male childhood sexual abuse and to enable survivors and the community to work together to heal and prevent abuse. He will discuss the prevalence, gravity and lifetime impact of this type of trauma, as well as the healing process and the support survivors may need. The training is free but registration is required.
QUARTERLY TRAININGS
There are no quarterly trainings this month.
Please take a moment to log on to your Volunteer Management System (VMS) account and log your hours for the month of April. Please also log any time you spent on training under “volunteer training.” If you do not see this selection under your opportunities, please email Debra Ranf, and she will log on to add it to your account.
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Please enter your hours for each day you volunteered and not as a lump sum.
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If you need to log hours for a previous month, please send email Debra to let her know so she can be aware of the entry and expedite the approval process.
Check out past issues of Volunteer Voices.