Department of Family Services

CONTACT INFORMATION: Monday–Friday 8 a.m.–4:30 p.m.
703-324-7500 TTY 711
12011 Government Center Parkway, Pennino Building
Fairfax, VA 22035
Michael A. Becketts
Director

Volunteer Voices – 2024 August

volunteer-voices-masthead-updated

Welcome to the 2024 August issue of Volunteer Voices, a monthly newsletter for current and potential Domestic and Sexual Violence Services (DSVS) volunteers.

In this Issue:

Table of Contents
  • Notes from the Staff
  • Self-Care Corner: A.M. Writing
  • Talking to Youth about Healthy Relationships: A Guide for Parents
  • Always Evolving
  • Quotables
  • Program Spotlight: Crisis Response Services
  • Join the Conversations!
  • Reviews: The Duality of “Tell Them You Love Me”
  • Raising My Voice: Meet Chris Royer, Hospital Accompaniment Support Advocate
  • VV FAQ
  • Birthdays
  • Fascinating Facts
  • Test Your Brain
  • Events and Educational Resources
  • Make a Note!
  • Parting Shot

 

Notes from Staff

photo of Alemu DawitHello volunteers! My name is Dawit Alemu. I recently joined the Department of Family Services in the Domestic and Sexual Violence Services (DSVS) division in May 2024 as a temporary youth media specialist, with my contract ending in August of this year.

In this position, I helped with advertising and marketing our Teen Advocacy Program, which focuses on ensuring teenagers are fully informed on the topic of healthy dating relationships.

I originate from the vibrant city of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Eight years ago, I made the life-changing decision to relocate to the United States, seeking new opportunities and a brighter future. This transition ignited my journey of adaptation, self-discovery, and pursuit of my passions. From a young age, I developed a deep appreciation for nature. Whether exploring the Ethiopian countryside or discovering the scenic landscapes of my new home in the U.S., I find solace and inspiration in the great outdoors. Hiking trails, camping trips, and moments spent by serene lakes are cherished experiences that rejuvenate my spirit and fuel my creativity.

Alongside my love for nature, I developed a keen interest in basketball, a sport that exceeds cultural boundaries. I avidly follow NBA games, admiring the skill and strategy of players like Jayson Tatum and Jaylen Brown. Watching basketball not only provides entertainment but also serves as a connection to my past and present, bridging the gap between my Ethiopian roots and American experiences.

Beyond my recreational pursuits, I am driven by a desire to make a meaningful impact in my community. Inspired by personal experiences and a passion for mental health advocacy, I aspire to open a private children's psychiatry practice in the future. My goal is to provide compassionate care and support to young minds, helping them navigate the complexities of mental health with empathy and expertise.

Our volunteers embody some of these same values. I find volunteering to be a powerful way to create positive change in both communities and individuals. By dedicating time and skills to helping others, volunteers not only support those in need but also experience personal growth and fulfillment. It fosters a sense of purpose, enhances social connections, and can even improve mental health. By bringing people together, we build stronger communities, grow empathy, and promote compassion.

My journey as an immigrant has shaped my perspective and strengthened my resolve to contribute positively to society. My ambition to combine my love for nature, basketball, and child psychiatry reflects my holistic approach to life and career. As I continue to embrace my dual identity—honoring my Ethiopian heritage while embracing the opportunities of my adopted home—I remain committed to my dreams and aspirations. Whether exploring the wilderness, cheering for the Boston Celtics, or envisioning my future practice, I find purpose and fulfillment in every step of my journey.

Alemu Dawit
Youth Media Specialist

 

Self-Care Corner: A.M. Writing

photo of woman writingJotting down your thoughts first thing in the morning, a technique known as meditative writing, can help you set aside any worries, jitters, and preoccupations that stand between waking and getting your day started. These five steps can help you get going.

 

 

Talking to Youth about Healthy Relationships: A Guide for Parents

woman and daughter talking Parents and other caregivers are pivotal in helping the next generation of citizens develop healthy attitudes toward relationships. Being able to communicate openly about dating and relationships can empower youth to make informed decisions in their relationships and be on alert for warning signs. Learn more.

 

 

Always Evolving

two women speakingThe end of a relationship can leave you in mourning—even if you initiated the breakup. Many DSVS clients wrestle with the loss of the life they envisioned having, the loss of the relationship, the loss of hope, support, etc. Grief is not a linear path and can take shape in many different ways. In honor of National Grief Awareness Day, Friday, Aug. 30, we invite you to check out “Grief After a Relationship Loss” on Elizabeth Fedrick’s Always Evolving podcast.

 

Quotables

Be kind words“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.”–Seneca
 

 

 


Each newsletter will include this section to help share reviews, spotlight the people who support Domestic and Sexual Violence Services, recognize birthdays and list upcoming trainings and meetings.

Join the Conversations!

unscripted logoDomestic and Sexual Violence Services’ podcast, Unscripted: Conversations about Sexual and Domestic Violence, is a year old this month! Stay in the know with these biweekly discussions! And tune in this month for the start of Season 2!

 

Program Spotlight

woman on a calCrisis Response Services Is the Emergency Room of Domestic and Sexual Violence Services

Domestic and Sexual Violence Services’ Crisis Response Services team might best be compared to a triage unit as it handles many of the division’s essential core services, including the hotlines, the hospital accompaniment program, and on-call services. Volunteer Voices sat down with the program manager of CRS to talk about why this team is so critical to DSVS. This is what we learned.

Reviews

Image from Tell Them You Love MeThe Duality of “Tell Them You Love Me”

Perhaps the best thing about Netflix’s documentary, “Tell Them You Love Me,” is that it doesn’t choose sides or try to steer the audience in any way. This might also be the show’s flaw.

“Tell Them You Love Me” chronicles the story of Anna Stubblefield, a White, abled, former tenured professor at Rutgers University who had a physical relationship with Derrick Johnson, a Black, nonverbal man with cerebral palsy.

Through interviews with Stubblefield and Johnson’s family members, the story unfolds of how then-41-year-old Stubblefield met Johnson, 30 at the time, through his brother, who was taking one of Stubblefield’s courses at Rutgers. In the class, she showed a film about a nonverbal girl with disabilities who learned to type through facilitated communication (FC), an assisted-typing technique that purports to give people with disabilities the power to communicate.

In FC, a person with speech and motor control issues has their hand or arm physically supported by a facilitator as they point to letters on a page or keyboard, spelling out words. (Popular in the ‘90s, FC has since been discredited by major organizations.)

Excited about the possibilities, Johnson’s brother asked Stubblefield about exploring FC with Derrick. She did, and for two years, from 2009-2011, the professor worked closely with Johnson, claiming he was making progress. They also, she insisted to his family, fell in love along the way and engaged in consensual sex in her office. But his family was unable to duplicate the FC success, and after Stubblefield’s declaration of love, they began to suspect her of manipulating Johnson and sexually assaulting him.

The conflict led to a criminal trial in 2015, a felony conviction, and Stubblefield doing hard time for 22 months (of the two 12-year terms she was to serve concurrently) before she accepted a plea deal to a lesser charge and was released with time served.

“Tell them You Love Me" does a remarkable job of telling most sides of the story, including the accused’s account, without selling out any of the players. The case was fraught with issues of gender, race, disability, culture, and consent, so director Nick August-Perna achieved his goal.

But Johnson isn’t interviewed in the film because his family has always understood his diagnosed intellectual disability and lack of motor control meant he would never be able to communicate. And it is this question of Johnson’s ability to communicate, and what he would have to say if he could, that is at the core of “Tell Them You Love Me,” and to August-Perna’s credit, he doesn’t try to offer an easy answer.

Instead, he lets the court’s guilty verdict supply the answer, and that leaves the audience feeling a little unsettled.

This review was written by communications specialist Kendra Lee.
 

Raising My Voice

photo of Chris RoyerMeet Chris Royer, Hospital Accompaniment Support Advocate

I’ve been volunteering with Domestic and Sexual Violence Services (specifically with the Hospital Accompaniment Support Advocate program) for nine months but have been engaged in some form of volunteering since high school,” says Chris Royer, Hospital Accompaniment Support Advocate with DSVS. “I strongly believe volunteering is an essential part of civic engagement and a responsibility that we have to the community we’re a part of.” Learn more about Chris’ volunteer journey.

 

VV FAQs

Q: Can I choose the DSVS program where I volunteer?

A: DSVS has many volunteer positions where you can support victims/survivors of domestic and sexual violence, human trafficking, and stalking. To better determine the opportunity that meets your time and talent, attend an upcoming orientation and learn more about the division’s current volunteer needs.

 

Birthdays

present

August’s birthstone is peridot, one of the world's most ancient gemstones. Peridot is known for its lime and olive hues, and its excellent transparency lends it an irresistible gleam when set in gemstone jewelry. Its name comes from the Arabic word "faridat," which means "gem." But some scholars believe peridot gets its name from the Greek word "peridona," which means “giving plenty.” This is fitting since the gemstone has been associated with prosperity and good fortune. Less common August birthstones include spinel and sardonyx.

Ashley Kotania, 5
Justina Johnson, 14
Himabindu “Bindi” Mandava, 15
Wendy Werner, 18
Tina Mather, 18
Faith Harris, 22
Levette Fondaumiere, 23
Ruth Berben, 27
 

Fascinating Facts

infographic

 

Test Your Brain

There’s nothing like numbers puzzles to get the synapses in your gray matter clicking on all cylinders. But don’t just take our word for it. Test that theory with this Sudoku puzzle!

 

Sudoku puzzle

 

Answer key

 

Events and Educational Resources

black gears

DSVS Orientation for Prospective Volunteers
Multiple dates and times this month

This orientation is an introduction to Fairfax County's Domestic and Sexual Violence Services, the services we provide, the population we serve, and the opportunities for volunteers to contribute to the agency's mission. We also provide a summary of the application process and the requirements necessary to become a successful candidate. Register here.


Unpacking Gender: How to Talk to Kids and Teens
Tuesday, Aug. 6, 2024

3-4:30 p.m.
Sherwood Regional Library
2501 Sherwood Hall Lane
Alexandria, VA 22306

In this workshop, participants will explore the messages we are taught about gender and how they can affect our relationships with ourselves, loved ones, and community. We will discuss the impact gender roles and stereotypes have on everyone and how this knowledge can help us prevent violence. This workshop is aimed at grandparents and older adult caregivers to children, teens, and young adults interested in learning how to talk about gender with young people in their life. Parents and youth serving professionals also welcome. Questions? Contact Zayne Reeves.


Online Safety for Parents/Caregivers
Thursday, Aug. 8, 2024
6:30 p.m.

Do you feel a disconnect between you and your children when it comes to technology? Do you worry about helping your teen safely navigate the digital world? Join us Thursday, Aug. 8, 2024, at 6:30 p.m. to hear from an expert on digital violence who helps frustrated parents learn about simple tips to parent effectively in the digital age, preparing their kids to be safer online. Workshop offered via Zoom and in person. Simultaneous Spanish interpretation will be provided. Contact Debra Miller or Nora Nieto for more information.


Fall Tier One Trainings
Sexual Violence Tier One
Wednesdays & Thursdays, Aug. 28-Sept. 19, 2024
Virtual

Sexual Violence Tier One is a 16-hour training on understanding sexual violence, systems responding to sexual violence in Fairfax County, and resources available in our community. This training is for professionals, volunteers, and community members looking to learn how and why sexual violence happens; the impact of sexual violence on individuals, families, and communities; and how to support those impacted. It is free, but registration is required. For more information, contact Angie Acosta.


Domestic Violence Tier One
Wednesdays & Thursdays, Oct. 23-Nov. 20, 2024
Virtual

Tier One is a 16-hour training on the dynamics of domestic violence, systems responding to domestic violence in Fairfax County, and resources available in our community. This training is for professionals, volunteers, and community members looking to learn about the dynamics of domestic violence and its impact on individuals, families, and communities. It is free, but registration is required. For more information, contact Angie Acosta.


Volunteer Quarterly Meetings

Volunteers meet quarterly for updates, announcements, training, etc. Meetings are typically held during the week from 6-8 p.m., in person or virtual. The first hour is dedicated to the above and relevant for all volunteers. During the second hour, volunteers are placed in separate rooms (virtual or in person) for program specific updates. If you serve in multiple capacities, don’t worry: We got you covered! Below are the dates for the rest of 2024. Reminders will go out regularly, but please mark your calendars.

  • Sept. 25, 6-8 p.m. (virtual) registration
  • Dec. 19, 6-8 p.m. (in-person) End of the year celebration, location TBD

 

Make a Note!

notepad and pen

Please take a moment to log on to your Volunteer Management System (VMS) account and log your hours for the month of July. Please also log any time you spent on training under “volunteer training.” If you do not see this selection under your opportunities, please email Tanisha Cox, and she will log on to add it to your account.  

Please enter your hours for each day you volunteered and not as a lump sum. If you need to log hours for a previous month, please email Tanisha Cox to let her know so she can be aware of the entry and expedite the approval process.

 

Parting Shot

photo of training It was a packed house for the summer session of Sexual Violence Tier 1, including DSVS volunteers who soaked up sexual violence-focused knowledge.

 

 

 


Check out past issues of Volunteer Voices.

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