(Published 2024 April)
Give Yourself Space to Cry
When Jason Kelce, former center for the NFL’s Philadelphia Eagles, retired from playing professional football earlier this year, he wiped tears, and his family in the audience did, too. It was clearly an emotional moment for him. But we so seldom give ourselves grace to cry openly that Kelce’s tearful display was as big a headline as his retirement from a successful 13-year career.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
Humans shed three types of tears: basal, reflexive, and psychic. The first two keep our eyes healthy by lubricating them (basal) and getting rid of harmful irritants (reflexive). But it is psychic tears—those we expel when we cry—that can be part of a self-care discussion.
Of course, we’re not suggesting you weep any old time; sobbing during the weekly team meeting might startle your co-workers and prove counterproductive. But crying around supportive people (think: your partner or your best friend) is a social cue to show something’s not right in a way you can’t express in words, and that you are overwhelmed and need help.
You don’t have to be performative and cry only when there’s an audience. Shedding tears, whether in front of others or alone in your bathroom, can help you confront what’s bothering you and allow you to process it emotionally. It’s a signal to stop, take care of yourself, and address the emotions by dealing with underlying issues or stressors in your life.
If crying really isn’t your thing, don’t force it. But the experts say our normal tendency when we feel a cry coming on is to step on the brakes, and we shouldn’t do that. Instead, find a safe space and let the tears flow.
Note: If you’re crying continuously and uncontrollably over a few weeks or don’t know why you’re crying, it might be time to find a counselor who can determine what’s going on and provide you with therapeutic support.
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